When you are there
by earanemith
Summary: Summary: Ziva has lost her mother. When she find her again, every thing that can go wrong goes wrong, but with who?
1. Lost in memory

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

**Chapter one – lost in memorie.**

Something didn´t felt right. The people in the squad room only had to breathe out or she snapped at them. She even didn´t know herself why she was doing it. Soon it was time to go home.

Ziva sat down at her couch, reading a book. But for some reason she couldn´t concentrate. She decided to go to bed early. Because reading didn´t seem te bother her much. It was just the moment she stepped in to bed when she saw the flashback in her head.

"_I am sorry Ziva, your father… I just" __ a tear came down her cheek. "__I love you" __than the woman kissed her on her for head, turned around and walked out the door. Ziva had only been seven years old._

She laid down, how could she forget, today was precisely twenty years ago when she saw her mother for the last time. The last time she ever told someone she loved them. In a way Ziva didn´t mind remembering it, that day was the day she most remembered of her mother. They had gone to the park with the fountain, and had lunch together. She remembered that her mother loved her and hugged her so much that day than she didn´t understand. But it was her mother saying good bye, forever.

On the other hand she didn´t like to see it and live it again, because when her mother had left her life changed for good.

"_Mama. Mama please come back" __she had screamed when she ran outside and saw the car of her mother drive away. She runs after it, even when she couldn´t see it anymore. She stopped at the park they were that day. And sat down on the edge of the fountain. How long she had been there she didn´t remember. But it was dark, when finally Ari had come to take her home._

That night she only saw her mother' face before her.

The next day when she arrived at work she still wasn't herself. Tony noticed it and came to her desk.

"What's up Zee-vah?" he asked.

"Nothing" she mumbled and looked up. When his gaze got hers Gibbs luckily came in and they had to go. Tony didn't ask again.

The ride home seemed to take hours, why was it bothering her so much. She had lived without her mother for twenty years now, and why did she wanted her mother more than ever right now. Her car slowed down for the traffic lights, and her mind floated to the day of her sixteenth birthday.

_Tali sat next to her, Ari on the other side. There was only one other girl from __their age, Inara but she was only there because their fathers did business together. She just had her presents, form her father her first gun, handmade, from Ari a holder. Tali said that she would give it her later that day._

_It was round two when she got a card, there was no senders name on the back but the handwriting looked familiar. When she opened it she found a letter, __Happy birthday, my love, __the moment she read it she recognized it, her mother's. Her hands started to shake, she wasn't used that emotions slipped trough. When she run out the door she dropped the letter. Tali picked it up, she also recognized the handwriting, and there wasn't much she remembered. Only four years old was she when her mother had left, when she was about that same age Ziva sometimes told her story's of their mother to help her remember, to keep the memory alive. But she had stopped telling them a long time ago._

_Ziva run till her lungs could no longer hold it and she had to stop. Without knowing she had run to the fountain, she broke down on the edge of the fountain. For the first time in eight years really crying._

A horn from a car made her switch back to the present time. She had mist quit some green light with her crazy ninja drive stile as Tony would call it, she drove further to her apartment. The door to her apartment opened and closed again behind her. She just stood there for a while. She wanted to see her mother again but she hadn't even got a picture of her. Her dad had put it away, why was a question.


	2. Why can

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

**Chapter two – why can't I see you?**

Without that she really noticed it she grabbed her star of David, it was her mothers. The only thing she could hold on to.

_There she was crying, by the fountain. It was only after a half an hour when Tali found her. Breathing __heavily from running._

"'_there you are, father is not happy"__ Tali spook._

"'_i do not care__" she answered. _

"_hey, don't be like that to me, if i were you I'll be jumping up and down because mother had written me__" Ziva looked at Tali after she said that._

"_That is because you didn't see her leave. Because you didn't see her back walk out the door__" Ziva snapped at her sister._

_Tali sat down next to her, and pulled something out of her pocket. "__Here, i found it a few days ago, I thought you might wanted to have it__" than she gave the little box to her sister. Ziva wondered what it was and opened it, there she found it the golden chain with the star of David hanging on it. _

"_This is mothers__", she said more to herself than to Tali._

The only thing to hold on to, it had so many memories, for Ziva it was like it had a little bit of her mother captured inside. Just a flinch so when she felt lonely she sometimes grabbed it and relaxed.

Ziva walked upstairs, and opened the closet, on a self there was a shoebox. She grabbed it and opened it. Almost immediately she found what she was looking for. The letter her mother had send her, the last thing she ever heard of her. For all she knew her mother could be dead. For the six hundredth time she read the letter.

Happy birthday, my love,

I long to see you almost grown up, but I can't for so many reasons. My heart still breaks when I think about the day I left you and Tali. And when I think about all the things that I've missed. I hope that you understand me one day, why i left. If you don't I can understand, I've hurt you to much. I know that you will be fine, just remember that I love you, and miss you.

Pleas forgive me for what I've done, your always be my baby. Love

Mom

Ziva read it about ten times over. No she still didn't completely understand why her mother had left. She knew it had something to do with her father. But when she tried to confront him he had said nothing.

With the letter in her hand she fell asleep. I was a almost dreamless sleep, she just walked with her mother not even noticing where, just holding her hand.

It was just past one, and they sat on their desks. Ziva couldn't concentrate because her mind was still with her mother, and she had made one of her familiar English mistakes, Tony had not just explained it to her like he normally did. But it was on a tone she didn't know from him. Just like he was irritating himself to her, because she had been stupid again. Or did she just not hear him well, she wondered if he noticed something was wrong. Constantly she looked at him wondering what he thought.

She just had to take a walk, to Mcgee she said that she would be back soon and then she left. The fresh air did her good, it was like the wind blow away a little bit of her concern.

- In the mean wile-

The elevator pinged, they barely even noticed it. Tony looked op from his phone and saw that Ziva was gone,

"Hey, Mcgee, do you know where Ziva is?" Tony asked.

"Did you not hear, she said that she was going away but be back soon why", Tony didn't answer.

He wanted to go back to the phone, he had still 48 people to call but there was a woman that took his attention. The woman stood next to his desk,

"Can I help you Ma'm" Tony asked. The woman reminded him of someone, she had seem to have a certain thing around her.

"I'm looking for Ziva David",

"Do you have a appointment ma'm" she shook her head.

"then I can't help you I'm afraid". The woman wanted to go but then turned around "would you like to give her this, please" she asked him,

"sure will do"and he took the envelope the woman was holding out to him. He wondered why the woman was looking for Ziva. "Should I tell her that you stopped by miss….?" he ask,

"No, but thank you. Would you like to say to her that " she sighed "just that I won't be back", Tony nodded to the woman and wished her a good day. Before she walked away.

Tony wondered, why did he have to say that she wasn't going to be back, she was looking for Ziva. And the woman had seemed so hurt. It spooked through is mind for a while.

At that moment the elevator pinged again and Ziva walked out. The walk had done her good. She looked at the squad room, there was Tony he had a confused look on his face, but why.

She just wanted to go and sit behind her desk when Tony spoke up. "Ziva", she looked up and walked towards him

"yes" she replied.

He grabbed an envelope and hold it out for her, before she could take it he said "There was a woman looking for you. Who gave me this, I had to say to you that she wouldn't be back". After saying that he let Ziva take the envelope, and got back to work.

With the envelope in her hand she sat down at her desk. Who could possibly be looking for her? She opened the envelope, there was something different in it than she expected. What she was expecting was a letter but instead there was a photo.

Careful not to scratch it she got it out of the envelope. At the back on the photo was something written, in Hebrew. "I always love you", who had send it to her who would say that. At that moment she thought it was probably a joke of Tony but he couldn't write or read Hebrew. She turned the photo around and at that point her mind froze.

On the photo there was a woman and a child. Her and her mother, and was taken on the day she had left.

"_Ziva look at the camera" __her mother had said to her "__I want a photo of us together, to remember.__"_

This could not be, why was this here, her mother was gone. It had to be Tony, it just had to be. Otherwise she was lost.

"Is this your idea of a prank, Tony" she said angrily.

"don't know what you mean Zee-Vah" he said, not expected to hear the anger in her voice..

"Don't call me that", she stood up and walked to his desk "what you don't know what I mean. I mean this" and she threw the envelope, closed on his desk. He looked at her she was really angry

"Ziva, I really don't" he tried.

"o please" she practical screamed, before grabbing her coat and went in the elevator.

"Dinozzo" Gibbs said, he just walked in when he saw Ziva standing at Tony's desk, but had not spoken for a minute. Why was Ziva leaving she better had a very good reason.

"Boss, I don't know why she" he didn't spoke any further as he saw the look in Gibbs eyes.


	3. Wish I could tell you

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

* * *

**Chapter three – wish I could tell you.**

Ziva was home in no time. When she got back tomorrow Gibbs wouldn't be verry happy, but right now she didn't really care.

She knew that it hadn't been a prank of Tony, than he would be sitting smiling behind his desk untill she noticed it. It had to be her mother, but why. Why now, and why had she said to Tony that she wasn't coming back. What if she had been there, if she didn't had gone for a walk. Than she had her mother now, she would have more than memories.

She hoped that Tony didn't open the envelope, than he would ask questions. Oke she had told the team once that her mother had died. But that was only to protect herself, protect from think about it.

It seemd if the tears in her where dried up, she couldn't cry, couldn't think, couldn't sleep.

* * *

Gibbs had gone home, and Mcgee was just grabbing his coat and wanted to walk to the elevator when he turned around and stared at Tony.

'What' Tony asked, Mcgee sighed 'never mind'. Than he walked away.

The most people were gone but Tony stil sat at his desk, staring at the envelope. He couldn't help himself he had to know what upset Ziva. He opend it the back in the front. There was somting writen on it, but it only looked like stripes to him, he turned the photo on and saw what Ziva had saw at first.

A woman and a child. Why would this upset her he thought. But when he looked closer he could see it, her eyes and her smile were the same. It looked a lot like the womans eyes and smile. He knew it for shure it was Ziva on the photo. He would recognize her smile everywere.

But still it seemd strange to him. Ziva had told them her mother had died years ago, why did it still upset her so much. His mother had died to but he wasn't like that when he saw a picture of her.

There was something Ziva wasn't saying and he would find out what.

* * *

Gibbs was working on his boat, aloud him to think.

There was something going on with Ziva, she normaly didn't let emotions slip trough. But what, he was so worried about her. They were a family the team and he, and Ziva was a part of it. So automaticly he wanted to protect her form what ever was nagging her.

He had asked Tony again what he had done. Only this time it wasn't something that Tony had done. Than she wouldn't have walked away. He said to himself that he would ask it her the next morning. If, she was there.

* * *

It was lets say 11pm when Ziva couldn't bare it any longer. She had to do something, she picked up the phone and without that she noticed it she dyled her fathers number.

'Ziva' she could hear on the otherside.

'yes, papa' she anwserd, already regretting what she had done.

'why is it you call', at that moment she wanted to trow the horn on the phone but she knew that her father then got suspiciously.

But it becan to sink in. It was his fault, his fault that her mother had gone she had asked him once but…

'_papa__' she had asked. He had let her in his office and sit down on the other side of his desk._

'_why has mother left__'__he hadn't anwsered. She took a big breath before asking him '__had it anything to do with you__' the look he had given her was undiscribeble._

_He had stand up '__I don't need to tell you that. You are just a child and I didn't leave this family__' he had said firmly._

'_this family hasn't been the same since mother has left, or have you forgotten. Tali is dead because of you. Because of Mossad. If mama had been there…__'._

_That went Eli David a little to far for the first time in ever he walked up to his daughter and grabbed her arms._

'_I will not tollerate this behaviour of you Ziva. This family is part of you if you want it or not. And I expect you to behave as part of it. Do you understand__' he took stronger hold of her arms, so strong it hurt her. She looked in her fathers eyes, when hers got foggy by tears that came up _

'_yes__' he had let go of her and she walked out the door._

'_Are you still there__' he asked._

'_I'm sorry, I just. I was thinking of Tali and I guess I wanted to hear your voice__' her father had asked if she was feeling alright _

'_just a little bit tired.__' After saying goodnight to her father she hung up._

The next morning she was broken, her face was wet when she woke up. She didn't even remember how she got in to bed but she knew she had cried herself to sleep. Quick she ate not much but at least it was something, before she was going to work.

Luckly Gibbs wasn't there but Tony was. Before she even could sit down he asked. 'Are you alright' but not on the tone she expected, this one was warm and ful sympathy. She nodded, he handed over the envelope 'you forgot this' than he sat down at his desk and began to work.

But in his head it was going crazy. She didn't need him now interrigating him if she was really of he could wait a day, or maby a fiew hours.

Ziva didn't understand she had expected to be interragated but he didn't. She tried to catch his gaze but he was staring at his screen, so she just got to work. Untill Gibbs had arrived, he walked by her desk. He had been staring down at them from the balcony and dicided that it was about time.

'come' he had said, ziva did obeyed him, even though she was afraid that he was going to ask questions.

They stept in the elevator, it was only just on it's way down when Gibbs turned the switch and it stopt

'What the hell is going on, Ziva' he said on a calm but firm tone. But she looked away form his gaze.

'Tell Me' he snapped. Allmost so that Ziva wanted to cry, let it all came out, but she knew how to hold herself together.

'common Ziva, we're your team, your friends' she still didn't look at him. Gibbs was thinking to himself that he couldn't break her this way.

So he tried it diffrently, 'is it about, Tali, your father' she flinched for a second.

'my father has nothing to do with this' she replied.

'Well Ziva, what is. You know just as well as I that something isn't right'. And he was right she knew she wasn't herself all this time.

But he wouldn't understand just like her father. But he wasn't her father so maby.

'No, it is none of you're goddamn business' she turnd the Emergency switch on and as soon as the elevator arrived back at the squad room she got out.

Leaving a confused Gibbs behind. She didn't spoke to him all day long, she didn't even say goodbye.

**so tell me what you think.**


	4. the truth out

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

* * *

**From now in it will probably take me a little bit longer to post.**

** Because now school is going as always angain and much more homework. **

**But still i hope you will wait. **

**Chapter Four – the trought out.**

Ziva sat home on the coutch, see had said things to Gibbs she didn't mean. She had to talk to someone and Gibbs was the only one who would understand. She stepped in her car and drove to Gibbs' house. He always was home.

But when she drove her mind slipt from the road back to when her mother had left. She didn't see what was coming in front of her.

'_I love you__' said her mother and kissed her on the fore head._

At that moment Ziva heard a horn of a truck. She looked up and looked in the lights of the truck. She tried to avoid beeing crusst by the truck, but because it was raining her car slipt. At the moment her car broke the rail and felt in the water the only thing wat she could thing was

'I love you to, mama'

The men in the truck had stopped and looked over If he could see her car, the car of the woman who had slipped in the water. Before he dive into the cold water he called 9-1-1, for an ambulance.

He dived into the water with a big breath of air. He saw the car, he swom closer allmost completely full with water. He tried the door but couldn't get it open. He looked inside, and stared into the eyes of the woman in the car.

She was wunded, he could see the blood from her waiste and forehead. She looked at him when one singel air bubble left her mouth and her eyes closed. As quick as he could he swom back to the surface to take another breath.

Finnally he could hear the sirens of the ambulance, with another breath he got back to the car. By the presure of the water there was a crack in the window. He slamed at it and it broke. He took the woman and got her to the surface. He didn't know if she was breathing or not.

The people of the ambulance took them out of the water and took the woman out of his hands. With the sirens on they drove to the hospital.

* * *

As soon as Gibbs heard the news he drove to the hospital when he arrived he called the rest of the team whil walking to the reseption.

'Ziva David' he said to the woman behind the counter.

'I'm sorry sir, there still working on her' he barely turn around of Tony stood behind him. 'were's she' he asked but the look from Gibbs was enough they were stil working on her.

After an half an hour a docter came

'Are you family' he asked Gibbs and Tony.

'practicly' said Gibbs and he showed his badge.

'She is resting now. It was very strange. After we got her back, and the water out of her lungs and her wounds ficksted we almost lost her. It is not normaly is there something we should know' he asked only talking to Gibbs.

'No' he said 'where is she'. The doctor said 'only one can come'

Gibbs looked at Tony and that look said it all "go home, call the others I'm with her" Tony didn't really like it but as long as there was only one person who could be with her he couldn't do much for her.

He wanted to say something to Gibbs but Gibbs said 'yes I'll call you when I know more, now go'. And Tony took off.

There she was, laying asleep, resting. Gibbs grabbed a chair and sat next to her, hoping she was alright.

Two hours past before Ziva opend her eyes again. She wanted to say something but emidiatly a docter came and checkt her.

'are you oke' Gibbs asked, she nodded. He put his hand on hers and looked at her, when she past out again. Only to wake up an half an hour later.

Emidiatly she wanted to get up but Gibbs pusht her down.

'what happend' she asked Gibbs wondering why she was in the hospital.

'your car slipped into the river' he said calm to her.

It al came back, a crash, the water. 'you made us quit worry about you. The doctor said that when they had you back, you were lost for a while'

she thought why is he saying that to her.

'he also said that if there was something, it could have been te cause.'

Ziva didn't say anything. Her mind went to her mother

'Ziva' she was woken up by Gibbs. 'Ziva, just tell me. We're a team. A family, and family trust one another'. That was just the thing he needed to say to finally break her.

She looked at him 'Do you remember when' she sighted 'when I told you my mother was dead'

he didn't say anything but she knew that he rememberd it. 'well she isn't dead. She left us when I was seven. That was the last time I ever have seen her' tears welt up in her eye Gibbs squezed her hand telling her that she could trust him.

'And the other day in the office she had been there, but I wasn't . She had left a photo with Tony, and said that she wasn't going to be back'.

The first tear left her eye 'it is just my fault, everyone I love go's away or dies. My sister Tali, my mother. And Air who I killed for you' tears were now falling down her cheek , and she begun to shake. 'there all gone' she cried. Gibbs stood up and took Ziva in his arms. She was crying against his chest

'sssshhhhh, it's not your fault' he said to calm her down. After a while of crying she slipt away again. Gibbs carfully put her back in the pillows and tuckt hur in.

That strong and dangeruss mossad agent looked so vonurble and breakeble right now.

He called the team that she was oke. Barrly ten minutes later they all were there. Abby who wanted to rush to Ziva but after a look at Gibbs she waited. Mcgee who didn't know what to say. Ducky who kept saying that Ziva was strong and would be out the hospital in notime. And Tony who had sliped trough Gibbs defends and sat down at Ziva's side.

He didn't leave her for a moment, not even when everybody was going home after two hours of waiting. But the doctor had said that she shouldn't wake up till tomorrow in the afternoon,

Gibbs came in and wispherd 'Dinozzo go home '.

Tony looked at his boss 'No. I wont leave her there has to be someone here and you havn't slept for over 48 hours because of the case from yesterday. I'll take care of her' with those words he got his boss to go home.

He grabbed her hand, outside it was allready dark, the only light was from the moon, who shined a smal stroke of light on her face. But she didn't seem to notic, as she lay there. Softly he stroke over her cheek, it looked like she was in so much pain and he couldn't even help her.

That night turnd into a nightmare for Ziva.

_In Gibbs bacment, Ari pointed the gun at Gibbs. But she had pulled the tricker. Trough his head went the bullet. He fall on the floor and stared at nothing._

Ziva slightly moved when she was dreaming_. _It woke Tony he had fallen asleep with his head on the matrass. What was she dreaming about he wonderd.

'_I am sorry Ziva, your father… I just' __ a tear came down her cheek. '__I love you' __than the woman kissed her on her forhead, turned around and walked out the door. __`Mama. Mama please come back` __she had screamed when she ran outside and saw the car of her mother drive away. She run after it, even when she couldn´t see it anymore._

'No', she mumbled in her sleep. Her movments became stronger as did her pain. Tony was still staring at her wondering if he could help her.

_That was a beatifull day, that __**was **__it. She had run to her sister, she had been away on a mission for two months and had missed her. _

'_I missed you so much__'__she said to her sister when she hugged her. _

'_yeah, I love you to__'Tali had answerd. '__wait I have left my purch inside wait here__' but than it happened. _

_Just when her sister almost was back inside. A bang, fire, a bom Ziva knew the instand she was throun away. When she stood up again the half street was burning. Her sister where was her sister. She stood op stil shaking, there on the floor not far from where she was. As fast as she could she got to her sister._

'_Ziva, don't forget me, like with mom, I love you__' Tali wishperd with her last breath. '__Come back, Tali, please don't leave me here alone__' tears running from her face. She had screamd, screamd of the los, the pain it cause her, the pain she got._

Tony now didn't knew what to so Ziva shook so heavily that he thought there was something going on. Where were thoos damn nurses when you really needed them. But than Ziva becan to scream in her sleep and cried. Tony rust to her and grabbed her. 'Ziva' He said trying to wake her up.

'there gone, dead, Tali. please' she cried, that was she first time Tony heard Ziva mention her sister.

Her really didn't know what to say 'wake up Ziva it is just a dream' what he didn't had noticed whas that when she had spoken up she was awake, most of her the other half was still asleep.

'There gone Tony, it is my fault' and with thoose words Tony pussed her against him and she cried. For the second time she past out crying. Tony couldn't sleep anymore. Now he knew with howmuch pain Ziva did live every day, and how he couldn't help her.

**So this was it for chaptor 4. Tell me what you think about the stor sofar/ what will happen with Ziva/ her mother / Tony **


	5. Can't hold it in

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

* * *

**Chaptor five – Can't hold it in.**

The next morning Tony called Gibbs to tell him what happened but when he was done with telling, Gibbs didn't say anything about it only

'Stay with her Dinozzo'. And than had hung up.

Tony looked down at her, that night she had opened up, probably she didn't even knew it. At 3pm. She finally opened her eyes again. As soon as she realized where she was, and saw him '

Tony, why are you…' she began to ask.

'Just looking after you, orders of the boss' when he said that there came a little smile on her face.

She knew that if Gibbs really had told him to stay with her that wasn't the only reason why he was with her.

He got her something to drink, when she had drunken some he couldn't hold it any longer. 'Do you remember tonight' he asked.

She thought 'A little…I think', with a why look in her eyes Ziva looked at Tony.

'Do you remember your dream' shortly she saw it in her head, he took it as a yes.

'What happened, you screamed for your sister, and said it was you fault' that he shouldn't have asked. Because she turned her head away from him

'none of your business' then she went silent. After an hour she still hadn't said anything to him.

Her condition got better by the hour and after an other night she could go home. Normaly she would have to stay there for another day and night but the doctors were probably scared of her. Abby had drove her home, and did go inside with her.

'Are you really oké. Because I don't mind staying with you. So you can rest some more, I just sleep on you couch or should I call Tony to stay with you' she kept talking 'ABBY' Ziva almost had to scream to get her attention 'I'm fine go home'

With a lot of trouble she got Abby out. It had cost her a lot of her energy. She thought of what Tony had asked the other day. Her dream she remembered as is she was living it, she knew that she had woken up and cried for Tali. Something she normally wouldn't do. But it had been Tony who comforted her, apparently that she didn't really remember. It had to mean that he had heard her, that was not good. Okay, Tony was her partner but he didn't have to know much about her past.

* * *

In two days Ziva was back to work, only Gibbs didn't let her come to there crime scene so when the others were away she had gone down to Abby. When she came the music was out

'Abby' she said wondering if there was something wrong.

'o, Ziva wait' Abby answered before she came to her.

'What are you doing, Abby',

'talking to my mother. Well uhmm come one' she dragged Ziva with her to the Camera. On the flatscreen Ziva could see a woman standing. Abby began to sing something to her.

'It's my mom it's her birthday. Just wave', Ziva first didn't understand

'maybe I did only tell the team when Kate was alive. My mother is deaf' that made Ziva wave. The mother of Abby looked a lot like Abby, only without the gothness.

That made Ziva think of her mother. Once her father had said that she just looked like her mother. Only Ziva didn't know if that was true, she never would. It boiled up in her the pain. Than Abby waved good bye and Ziva did the same. Only before Abby turned the camera of she singed something ells. When the camera was off Ziva looked at Abby

'I said I love you to her' Abby said to Ziva.

Even so her mother was deaf, she still had been there for her daughter, and loved her. And Abby loved her mother just as much. That hurt Ziva even more. Her eyes begun to sting, she knew she was almost crying.

' have to go' Ziva said to Abby and than quickly left, leaving abby alone.

Back to work, Ziva thought, so she could concentrate on something ells. But it didn't work the feeling stayed. Ziva walked to the nearest bathroom and trow some water in her face. It didn't help, when she looked at her reflection. She saw the photo, her mother, she did look like her. Ziva and her mother looked the same as to drops of water, especially her eyes. Her eyes where now tears were fallen down from. She wiped them away and wanted to go back but by the stairs Tony grabbed her arm and took her aside.

_Tony wasn't crazy. When Ziva had sit there working she wasn't herself, it looked like her eyes were foggy. He had to know if she was okay._

'let me go' she snapped.

Tony always with his stupid actions, he probably wanted to know more, her pain turned slowly into anger.

'What is going on Ziva' he tried to find her gaze. 'Talk to me. Ziva you screamed for your sister and said it was your fault and now you're crying something isn't right. Tell me' with an anger fire in her eyes she looked at him.

Than it hit him in the face, The woman who was here a few days ago, he knew she look familiar. Those eyes were the same, but than it had to be her mother, but her mother was dead she had told them. Still he had to try.

'it has to do something with your mother isn't it. I bet she isn't dead she just left because of daddy. Isn't it' he said.

Why he said it on such tone he didn't know almost if he was angry with her. Still it was the wrong thing to say to Ziva right now, because she snapped.

She hit him in the chest, the first time not so hard but the second was making up for it. Than she threw him on the floor and said

'it is none of your goddamn business' then she walked away.

Tony was totally not focusing on his work when he had stand up and went back to his desk like nothing had happen. Well exept that Ziva could hit really hard, and his chest hurt. One thing he knew for sure now. It had to do something with her mother, probably he was right she wasn't dead but how could he knew for sure.

When Mcgee had left he walked to Gibbs desk.

'Boss, Ziva's mom isn't dead is she. She was here days ago, wasn't she' the looked down at Gibbs who sat behind his desk and put his work down.

'you think Dinozzo' he said. But it wasn't as a headslap in words.

'but boss why would she…',

'Dinozzo she has to tell it you herself I'm not going to test her trust'

And with those words he send Tony home.

**So what do you think, what would you think/like to see what happens,**

**question from me to you is the spelling better than the chaptors al ready in here, some mistakes I didn´t know who to make it right,**

**Does anyone knows a proper name for Ziva's mom  
**


	6. I need you

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

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**it is a short chaptor but with easter i'll put up another chaptor or to. **

**or maybe tonight well for me night. Need you help though does any one know a name for Ziva's mom  
**

**Chaptor Six – I need you**

Ziva was sitting behind her desk it was round 10pm, thinking about her mother. She knew it for sure now, She was going to find her, but she couldn't do it all by herself. She needed the help of her family.

She turned the light of and went to her car. It took her not long to come where she was going. The door wasn't locked as normally, she walked in the hall to the stairs that lead down, there was only a light of a lamp.

'Hello, Ziva' she heard

'how did you knew' she asked not sure he would tell

'what are you doing here' Gibbs asked her when he pointed a place to sit.

'I am here because I want you to ask to help me, not the team just you'

He looked at her of course he wanted to help her but he couldn't, and he thought the team should know, have the right to know. Each one loved Ziva, like a sister or a daughter, and cared for her 'Ziva, you know I have to tell the team, no you have to tell them.'

Ziva didn't know what to say she didn't wanted the rest to know,she was afraid they would tread her with sympathy and maybe even more she didn't wanted that, but it was true only Gibbs couldn't help her. She needed the rest of her team her family to help her too.

It had become a long night, with Gibbs she didn't have to talk. She only had to see the look in his eyes, it was enough. But still Ziva couldn't sleep. She was afraid for tomorrow, afraid that they would hate her that she had lied to them. Nothing seemed to calm her down, no hot shower, no warm tea, when she finally was in her bed again her thoughts seemed to be frozen. Suddenly she began to hum a song, she didn't even know what it was, only the melody. With that she fell in to a sleep full of nightmares.

The next day at the office Ziva was really stressed although she didn't let it show. She didn't wanted whole NCIS to know it so she had said to everyone to come down to Abby's lab. They were all there, only Gibbs wasn't Ziva wondered why. Now she couldn't go back she had to tell the truth.

'Well, you are probably wondering why I let you all came down her' she said when she looked at them. 'I've told you that my mother had died but…' she couldn't do it she just couldn't but than she saw Tony's eyes looking at hers. They were speaking warmth and love. 'but she is not, I need your help to find her would you please help me'

For a moment nobody said anything Abby was the first one to speak up.

'of course we'll help you' than she gave a big hug to Ziva.

'And we will all my dear' Ducky had said.

After a few more yeses and hugs they left, Ziva got one final hug from Abby when she stepped in the elevator. What she didn't know was that Tony was right behind her. When the elevator was just on its way up he stopt the elevator. Ziva only looked at him, not entirely sure what to say.

'Why didn't you say anything before'

'I didn't thought you would understand' Ziva said while turning her eyes away from him.

'Didn't understand, Ziva, I'm your partner you can trust me, I know you' he said trying to meet her eyes. But she looked away.

'you don't know nothing about me' She turned the elevator back on. When they were in the squad room again they both didn't say a word.

Tony looked at Ziva when she sat behind her desk working if nothing had happen. He wanted to hold her, not like Abby but really hold her. Understand everything that went on in her mind, staying with her forever. But he knew that wouldn't happen, so he better focus on finding her mom, than maybe she would smile her incredible smile some more. And he would feel like helping her, understanding her a little bit more. Because she was right there wasn't much he'd understand about her.


	7. I will make sure

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

_**So this is it chaptor 7 finally. just read review and read again  
**_

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**Chaptor seven – I will make sure**

It had been tree days since Ziva had told the team and they had tried. But had no lead, nothing it looked like her mother was gone from the earth. Just like Gibbs for the past four days he hadn't been there. Ziva didn't know why, and Abby was getting worried, she drunk twice as much caf-pow as normally.

Then finally at 10pm that day he walked in. Tony stood up

'Boss, where…'

'Ziva come here' he had said ignoring Tony. 'I maybe know where your mother is, it was not easy and I'm not sure of it but I just got a call from Mike and there has been a woman just five minutes ago at the gass station by…' he hadn't even got the chance to finish his words because Ziva grabbed the paper with the address on it and almost run to the elevator.

'Dinozzo' Gibbs said

'On it Boss' than he followed Ziva, just in time before the doors of the elevators closed.

As fast as she could she ran to her car, Tony had baraley time to get in. Normally it would take 20 minutes to get there with Ziva driving only ten. When they were there Ziva jumped out the car, not even carring it wasn't locked.

In the gasstation she ran to the woman behind the counter.

'where is she' Ziva almost yelled. Luckily Tony was right behind her because the woman didn't understand who Ziva meant.

'special agents Dinozzo and Dah-veed, where looking for this woman' he showed her the photo of Ziva and her mom.

'That way' the woman pointed, Ziva run outside, she was not letting her mother go away, not again.

There she was outside in the dark, she run to the corner of the gas station when she heard a scream, she ran to the alley next to the station. Only lit by one single streetlight.

There were two man standing in front of a woman, her mother. But what were they doing, Ziva thought.

'Come now or you will regret it' he raised his hand and hit her, so hard she fel on the ground. Than the taller man raised his gun and pointed at her mother, as fast as the taller man had done that Ziva grabbed her gun to.

'Drop the gun now' she yelled.

Tony finally was there, when he saw what was going on he didn't hesitate for a moment. He walked until he was standing next to Ziva and pulled his gun as well.

Her mother looked up 'Ziva' she whispered. With a louder voice she almost yelled 'Go I don't want you to…' the Smaller man hit her again so hard her head met the wall on the right side of her face. There was some blood leaking down her face.

'I said drop the gun'

'Now' Tony said.

What happened in the next few seconds seemed like much longer.

The man who had hit her mother pulled his gun too and at the same time both man began to shoot. Tony and Ziva both saw the man raise his gun at them and they shot to, only a little bit faster than both man, there bullets hit the man in there hearts. A bullet had scraped Tony's arm, another had scraped Ziva's temple, and she had a bullet just true her arm not hitting any bone. Or very needed muscles, Ziva didn't care didn't even feel the pain. She run to her mother, who just wanted to stand up.

'Mama' Ziva said when she flied in her mothers arms, who fel back down and closed her arms around her daughter.

'I've missed you, please don't go away' Ziva cried against her mother.

'shhhhh, my love, I am not going away' her mother answered.

Tony watch the two, he had never seen Ziva like that. Soon Gibbs and McGee arrived.

'Ziva' Gibbs spoke up 'what happend'

Ziva didn't answer so Tony jumped in. 'They had guns and fired so'

Ducky came followed by a palmer who had several medicalkids with him

'well my dear let's have a look' he said when he kneeled down next to Ziva

'look at my mother first, please' she asked, after seeing the look in Ziva's eyes Ducky did what she asked. He cleaned the wound, but it had already stopped bleeding. Then he moved to Ziva, the small wound on her temple only needed to be cleaned out but when he came to her arm he couldn't do much more than cleaning and but a bandage on it

'I'm sorry dear, it's gonna need stitches' he said when he stood up, next helping Ziva's mom up.

'Tony drive with Ziva and her mom to the hospital and after that to home'

'on it boss' Tony said when he helped Ziva get up. And lead both Ziva and her mom to the car, before they drove away.

After they had arrived at the hospital they had to wait. No one said anything Ziva and her mother just hold hands. In the mean while Ziva's arm kept bleeding from the moment the bullet had hit her arm to now she had lost quit a lot of blood. So when there came a nurse to help them and take Ziva to the doctor, Ziva stood up not knowing what would happen. The world began to spin in front of her eyes and she felt. Luckily Tony had noticed it in time and caught her. He got her up but when she stood he felt that the blood loss was just to much so he kept an arm around her. Until there came a nurse with a wheel chair and he helped her in it. The nurse ordered him to stay there so he did.

There they said Ziva's mom and Tony he didn't know what to say so he was glad that she spoke up first.

'Thank you, for taking care of my little girl'

When she said that she looked at Tony, he could see that Ziva got her eyes from her mother, they were almost the same.

'Well, were partners I just… where there for each other ma'm' when he said that his mind slipped to far gone memories, he had her back just as she had always his.

'please don't call me that you may call me Neorah..' said, same as Ziva she didn't like it ether when people especial men called her ma'm.

'if you don't mind that I ask Neorah., how did you end up ther'

That look the same, when he asked Ziva something of her personil life or her childhood she looked like that, afraid to tell scared of feeling. Luckilly the nurse came back with Ziva round her arm there was a bandage.

'she will need a little more rest untill she can walk again, I sugest you stay here for a while' the nurse said while she helped Ziva to the chair and walked away to the next pacient .

'I can perfectly walk myself Tony' she said when she tried to stand up, but it was true her body was to weak she almost colapsed, but than again Tony's arms where there to catch her.

'yeah, I can see that' he said, Ziva tried to free herself from his hold but than Tony did something unexpected for both of them. He lifted her up one arm round her back one under her legs. She didn't fight him of by supriese of Tony. Al three of them got to the car Tony carried Ziva all the way, she didn't spoke. In the car she said down next to her mother, lay her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes. Tony started the car and they drove away Ziva's mom bacan to hum a song for Ziva. Inside Tony smiled, he looked at Ziva from the mirror, it seemed like she finally had found her rest.

Buildings and streets past by untill they came at the apartment of Ziva, Tony wanted to help Ziva out of the car but this time she didn't let him. Showing that she could take care of herself. When ziva and her mom got in the apartment Tony got a call, so he didn't step in but stayed in the door frame.

'Dinozzo' he said when he heard who it was 'euh hello boss''

'Dinozzo, are they okay' Gibbs asked

'yeah, but. They haven't spoken to each other'

'Give it time, stay with them for the night' than he hung up.

He walked back in when he only saw Ziva

'where's your mom'

'in the shower upstairs' Ziva said while sitting down on the couch. She looked so broken even thoug she had her mother back. Tony went with a shot.

'what's wrong. You haven't said a word to eachother'. He didn't know if she allowed him in, but still. He said down next to her, till his surprise she answered.

'it is just' she sighed 'I am so afraid that if I talk to her and let her in I am gonna loose her once more' a tear welled up in her eye so small but Tony could see it. 'I can't go trough that again' she wishpered. Tony put his hand on hers, she didn't pull a way

'you won't. you never have to make something like that trough ever again'

'how do you know' she looked in his eyes.

'I just do. Because. Because I will make sure you don't'

They heard the water stop and after a few minutes the door open.

'go' Tony said

Ziva stood up waiting for Tony to do to so she could let him out. 'I'm staying orders' he said with a smile.

'thank you Tony' she said befor walking away not very later she came back with a pillow and a blancked she put them down and went back upstairs.

**A/N; So what do you think. Good name for her mother, BTW the name means Light, just thought I'd let you know. thanks for letting me know that the wrong version without a name was on  
**


	8. Not that bad!

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memories._

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**i am soooo sorry for not updating this story in a while just got no inspiration,**

** now i have it back a little. so here it is, tell me what you think and what you**

** like to see in the next few chaptors, because i often get inspiration from other people. **

**Review Please, Love you guys**

ps. translation below, you´ll see if you read

**Chaptor Eight –Not that bad  
**

Her mother sat on her bed Ziva had given her some pj's from her to put on. She sat down next to her, her mom spoke up first.

'Ziva, I am glad to see you' she stroke her daughters hair, Ziva didn't answer, suddenly she felt so betrayed and anger.

'Ziva, talk to me my love'

She tried to become calm but couldn't and her guard slipped away.

'why did you leave, why didn't you stay, with us, with me'

'i. your father'

'but you could have stayed for me'

'I wanted to but it was just to hard, if you knew how your father was' her mom answered.

'to hard' Ziva screamed out 'you know nothing about it. You don't know how hard it was, when you left'

'yes, my love, I can understand but your father couldn't be that'

Downstairs Tony heard the screaming. He wanted to get up and go to them, but he heard the voice of Gibbs in his head '_Give them time and space, Dinozzo_' so he said back down and listened.

'not that bad' Ziva didn't know why but she was talking English again. Like speaking Hebrew remembered her of her father. 'you don't know how bad. From the moment you were away he raised us to kill, beat us if we didn't. When Tali died he did not come to her funeral. And when Ari…' she swallowed a tear back 'he send me to kill him, my half brother. I have killed my own brother because of him'

Downstairs Tony heard every word Ziva had said. Had she really killed Ari, her brother, only because her father. No that wasn't like Ziva even she wouldn't kill her own brother just for orders. Gibbs must knew it, like always. Was that why he trusted her, from the first day they were a team.

Now ziva began to whisper 'I have lost every thing, piece by piece when you left. I just can't anymore', she stared at her mother.

'come her, motek' Ziva sat down next to her mother 'it's okay, I understand that your angry I would be to. I will not leave you, your everything that I have'

That broke Ziva, tears in her eyes, falling down her cheek. Normally she wouldn't have shown any emotion but it was her mother, she trusted her nomather what. Now she was in her mothers embrace, sobbing against her. Her mother becan to sing a song a Hebrew lullaby. It calmed Ziva down and she fell asleep in her mothers armes, after the song was finnished she whispered 'halomot metukot, motek' than she fell asleep.

It was 3 am when Tony woke up, he thought he heard something outside, with his gun ready he walked to the door and opened it, nothing. Better check up on Ziva he thought. Softly he walked up the stairs and opened the door the light was still on. Ziva lay next to her mother and her mother had an arm around her daughter. Tony thured off the light befor closing the door and went back down. He didn't sleep again, round 5 am he still didn't sleep.

Than Ziva came in the living room and softly walked by, thinking tony was asleep.

'what are you doing' je asled she didn't react in a soft tone she said

'running' than she closed the door behind her.

She run until her lungs felt like they were on fire, she topped to catch her breath. Suddenly a feeling became her, like she was beeing wacht, she looked but saw no one.

By the time Ziva was back showered and dresst her mother was to, it was only 7 am. They eat there breakfest in silence . Tony acted like he hadn't heard a thing last night.

Little before 8 they arived at NCIS. Ziva just wanted to sit down when Gibbs walked in 'Go home' he said to Ziva

'Gibbs I just got here' she complained, he walked to her until they were twinty centimeters apart.

'Ziva, just go home, be with your mom' ziva wanted to argu 'Ziver are you going home or do I have to ask Dinozzo to bring you'

With that she walkd away with her mom. Tony was starring at her until they were out of side.

'Dinozzo, work'

'yes boss'

When Ziva and Neorah were back at the apartment they finally spoke again.

'I am sorry for lieving you'

'Don't apologize it's a singe of weakness' Ziva said while looking in her mothers eyes.

'Motek, I promes you that I will be there for you always'

'but'

**little translation for you who don´t know ore don´t want to look it up.**

**Motek - Sweerheart**

**Halomot metukot - sweet dreams  
**


	9. Couldn't tell her

**Another Chapter, it is a really short one, but i wanted to give you guys something to read, i may post more in a fiew days because i'm sick at home :( not fine. **

**Tell me what you think, what you want to see in following chapters,**

**Thanks to you who review  
**

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

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**_Previously on When you are there:_**

_When Ziva and Neorah were back at the apartment they finally spoke again._

_'I am sorry for lieving you'_

_'Don't apologize it's a singe of weakness' Ziva said while looking in her mothers eyes._

_'Motek, I promes you that I will be there for you always'_

_'but'_

**_Chapter 9 – couldn't tell her_**

(Neorah's POV)

How could I tell her. No I couldn't tell, her I couldn't even tell myself. It hurted to much. The memories, she should be care free for some times in her live. If it wasn't for her.

(Third person POV)

'Nothing. Tell me every thing about your self every thing I have missed. I just want to know you again, I want to know my little girl' Neorah said

'okay…well' she thought where should she start 'well I work as an NCIS agent, since, since' she couldn't tell her mother about Somalie, not that she didn't trust her mother, she just couldn't 'I don't really know. Before that I was an liaison officer from mossad. For six years, Tony who you've met already is my partner, and Gibbs is my boss' every one of the team she told her mother about. Except what happened in Somalie and what she felt for Tony.

**Back at the squad room.**

'Mcgee, Dinozzo' Gibbs said 'find out where she was what she has done, to whom she has talked and who were thoose men'

'Who' Mcgee asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

'Ziva's mom'

Tony and Mcgee looked at Gibbs, they had to look in there partners, no Ziva's family. They would be dead.

'Today' Gibbs said before walking to ducky.

'I'll check the men' Mcgee said. So Tony was left no choice, when he began he thought of what Ziva would do, he probably took a big step forward to his dead. For hours he had churched without finding anything, he decided to take a break and went down to Abby.

'Abby' tony called 'need your help' after telling her what the help was for he stayed down and looked at what Abby did. After another half hour Tony got bored and went back upstairs. The computer finally pinged.

'Talk to me' Abby said to her computer, before looking what it had found.

'Gibbs, Gibbs. I found something' she said while running in the squad room, she grabbed the controller and pulled some images on. 'Look' she began. 'she left Tel Aviv 20 years ago. The last sing of what I found from her is her on the station. Than she disappears for 5 years. Than this happens' She pushed the button and a video began to play. There was a woman Ziva's mom. She was talking to three man when they suddenly grabbed her and took her with them. 'Than she disappears again, until yesterday'

'euhh, Boss' Mcgee said 'This is not good'

'ya think Mcgee'

'No, Boss, what I found, those man were from the same terrorist group as Salim'

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**A/N yeah this was in my mind for a while bring the Somalie Nightmare back to live.**

**Question to you is Somalie spelled right and Salim**

**I don't know who to spell it differently so help me out please,**

**and review^^  
**


	10. Bring her in

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

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**i am sooo sorry for the delay. I was in Spain the whole week and had to wait 6 hours on the airplain, untill i could fly back. So i could not post it earlier. I hope you don't hate me now, review :) **

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**Chap 10 bring her in  
**

the team said nothin, This was not good.

'Bring her in' Gibbs said, Nobody moved or said anything, not even Abby 'Now' Tony and Mcgee grabbed there coats and walked fast to the elevator, only when they got in the car they spoke again.

'Do you think that Ziva's mom. Well you know, works for'

'No no, she can't be' Tomy mumbled back.

In front of the door to Ziva's apartment they stood stll. 'Mcgee do we have to. I mean, Ziva will kill us' it was not exactly what he ment, he thought of how betrayed Ziva would be if she find out thruw them and not her mother. How broken she would be if her mother was really part of them. And most of all how she would never trust them again.

'Yeah I'm afraid so' Mcgee said before knocking on the door. Ziva opened.

'What do you do here' she asked

'where's your mom' tony asked back not answering Ziva's question.

'Living room. Why' she asked but Tony walked past her to the living room she turned to Mcgee 'Why'

'Neorah, you have to come with us, you have the right to remain silence' Tony said while he took the arm of Neorah and walked her out of the door past Ziva.

'Tony' she said while anger was coming 'what are you doing let her go'

'No Zi. I can't' than he walked to his car, Ziva was going after him but Mcgee grabbed her arm.

'Let me go' she said, instantly Mcgee let go.

'Gibbs told us to bring her in. Don't blame him' then he walked away after Tony. Soon as they drove away Ziva got in her car and drove to NCIS. When she arriced she was looking fore Gibbs. But he was nowhere to be found. Interregation room she realized. As fast as she oculd she walked to it, whe wanted to walk in but suddenly a hand grabbed her and pulled her back.

'Zi' it was Tony, he lead her to the stairs before he and she spoke'

'What is this' Ziva hisshed to him

'Look Ziva, we found something she may not be who you think'

'Not who I think, She's my mother. Tony, My Ima and that's all that matters you had no right to take her' Ziva was using the Hebrew word for mother Tony knew by that he had hurt her, and that she was really pissed.

* * *

'well, we have some questions for you miss David' Gibbs said, no answer just a angry stubborn look, exactly the same Ziva could give him.

'Twinty years ago you left Eli David, Right'

'yes'

'well we have you here' he showed a picture 'five years after that you left him, close to the house where your children were'

'yes'

'than here again, five years drom that this happens' now he lay several photo's in front of her. 'these man' he pointed at the picturs 'are from a terrorist group, but I guess that you all ready know that. Now I want to know what happened and why'

* * *

'come on. It's not my fault' Tony said now afraid that she would hit him.

'no maybe not. But you took her' she shot back at him.

'yes. Well. I did. But it were Gibbs orders and you don't know what we found'

'And that is' Ziva said to him on a kill tone. He knew she was angry but she would never really show how deep it hit her.

'ten years ago she was captured by members of Salims terrorist group and we think' at the name of Salime Ziva made a little jump in her eyes.

'And you think she is part of them' her eyes had broken down with what he had said he could see that even if no one could.

'Yes Zi. I'm really sorry. But we have to ask her if she might know. And might belong. Gibbs also wants me to ask you. So I'm asking you what do you know'

* * *

Neorah didn't spoke a word. Mcgee was standing behind the glass, Gibbs knew. He sighned at him to leave and waited fore w while untill he was sure that Mcgee had left.

'Tell me what you know'

'I can not' Neorah answered.

'Why'

'Fore my daughters sake' she almost hispered. 'If I tell they' she felt like she had spoken to much already and kept her mouth shut. But her eyes spoke for her. That they would find her and Ziva. Gibbs mind worked on super speed, he tried something.

'Is that one of the reasons you left'

* * *

Nothing he tried to look in her eyes but she was avoiding them.

'I thought you were my partner. And I thought you followed Gibbs rules. But apperantly I was mistaken' with that she walked away. Tony just stood ther he had really blown it this time. It was true in his hope she wouldn't know anything he had broken one of Gibbs rules. Rule number 1, never screw over your partner. He staid there standing and starring into nothingness.

* * *

Neorah didn't spoke a word.

'is it because you think they will find Ziva' he wondered how much he should tell her. It was not his place to tell Neorah what happened Ziva had to tell herself. To his wonder Neorah looked him in the eyes for the first time.

'yes' was the one word she spoke. She had to trurst him only then he could help her help Ziva. If it was really Saleem's group, they might come for them again.

Neorah began to think Ziva had told her many things that night. A lot about NCIS how she talked about them. She knew Tali and Ari were dead, that it had changed Ziva when she left, but hearing and seeing Ziva talk about the team seemed as if she forgot. She sighed.

'I will tell you as much as I can only if you promis my little girl will be safe'

* * *

Abby came running in when she saw Ziva she didn't thought twice. She threw herself on Ziva in a big hug. 'I heard you mom is here. I am so happy for you. Can I see her. She does speak englisch right' it seemed like the words in Abby's mouth kept coming when Ziva didn't responed.

'What's the problem'

'the problem is that my mother is _here. _That Gibbs is interegating her, and Tony me. All because they _think_ she has something to do with' she couldn't speak out his name. While she thought she saw his eyes, starring at her. 'but she isn't she can't'


	11. Only say it

**Okay i have abandoned this story a little, but i am back a bit. I NEED YOU HELP**

**I have no idea how i will continue this story i lost the thought line thingy. So if you have an Idea what you want now is the time to say so.**

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Underlined is said in Hebrew.

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**Chap. 11**

"okay, I was just walking at the train station finally going to my children. I had convinced myself that it was time. But when I was getting on the train two men walked up to me and asked me something I do not remember what. Well you can see what happened than"

She never blinked thinking of this memories, what made Gibbs wonder if it was a lie or if Eli David had not only trained his children, but also his wife.

"they kept me in a small room. For 9 years I wasn't out of it. They beat me used me. All for information of mossad witch" did he see her look away "I never gave. Then, suddenly we went to America an hour before I saw you I finally could escape, I don't know exactly how, but I did and I know they will find me"

With that the talk was over. Gibbs knew that she wouldn't tell more.

Gibbs lead her to the squad room, where Ziva was waiting. The moment she saw her mother she walked to her.

"It's okay, my love"

"no it is not" she turned to Gibbs "you had no right to take her"

She began, but Gibbs brought her to the elevator. And when the doors shut he switched the emergency switch.

"Did you know it"

"yes, Tony told me" Ziva answered

"what exactly did he tell you"

"that you thought she had something to do with. With Salim" she answered on a cold tone.

"Ziver that is not all. she was captured by the same man that took you. On the day she wanted to come back to you and your siblings" that she didn't know, why hadn't her mother told her that.

* * *

"Do you want something to drink" Tony asked awkwardly

"No, thank you" Neorah answered

"Look about what happened, I'm"

"it is okay, it is Ziva who you need to tell this" Neorah said to him.

"Yeah that will be a problem"

"Why you are partners, _friends_"

Did she say that word like he thought she said it

"as she calls it. She has told me a lot, she'll forgive you if you only say it"

* * *

"She may not be who she was, or who you think she is"

With that he turned the elevator back on not letting Ziva have any time to answer him. Ziva was still angry at Tony, but when she walked to her mother she did not let a bit of it show.

"Ima. You have got to meet someone"

With that she took her mother to Abby not looking once at Tony. What broke his heart, he really had hurt her.

* * *

"Abby"

Ziva almost have to yell true the music. When the goth walked to them she turned the music softer. As soon as she saw Ziva's mother she did run to her and took her in a big Abby-hug, and almost yelled from joy.

"I'm so grald to finally meet you. Wow you two look alike"

"Well this is Abby, Abby I think you already guessed, this is my mother" Ziva said after Abby let her mother go.

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**Review and HELP me XD**


	12. Like it use to be

**okay this is gonna be a long Author note I think. or not?**

**I finally am through my writers block, My bestes friend I'll just name her at her internet name. Aquaria moon ( check out her deviantart)**

**Because i always tell her about every great story i read here and about my story's for hours and hours. Befor School in the bus on the way to it. And the 45 minutes we have befor school starts ( yes idiotic early on school) **

**She says things as "Just blow someone up" i from those lines i get the weirdest ideas what makes my story's so i thank her greatly. And really check her deviantart out. Just go to it and type, Aquaria moon.**

**Okay i am typing the next chapter. This is just a shot thing to let you know i have inspiration again. Thanks BTW for the ones that posted ideas i apriciate it. So i have inspiration but i don't like it when people just post author notes without even a little snippet of the story so here is the smalles chapter. But look to the sky and see a next chapter fall down out a tree.**

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Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

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_"I'm so glad to finally meet you. Wow you two look alike"_

_"Well this is Abby, Abby I think you already guessed, this is my mother" Ziva said after Abby let her mother go.

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**Chaptor 12- Like it use to be

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**

When she saw Abby Ziva saw something change in her eyes. Maybe the same thing Ziva had began to notice through years. Maybe.

* * *

Neorah POV

When I saw the girl Ziva said her name was Abby, I thought I saw something in her. some sort of memorie it almost seemed. A memorie of one of my daughters, the one I lost the one I barly had seen grow.

I know that there are tears in my eyes, I normaly don't show them. I have been beaten to manny times to give in, only the hug and the eyes of the girl, they make something loose in me. Like if I know this girl I get to know the daughter I lost if she had grown up.

The talking has moved on, My little girl is talking with Abby. There laughing, I wish I did not have to hide anything from her but I have to to protect her.

* * *

When they left Ziva was afraid she had to pull Abby away from her mother. But eventually she gave up her hug when Gibbs came down. Gibbs and Neorah exchanged a few looks befor they left.

When they were driving away from the NCIS building, Ziva took her mother that day to the park. They just sat beside eachother on a bench. Neorah held Ziva's hand, looking at the other people ocasionally saying things about them, telling eachother story's they thought happened to the people that past by. Much like the last day they had together.

They had not intentionelly started the game they use to play. When Ziva noticed it she wanted to stop, but after a look at her mother. The smile that returned to both of there faces, she said nothing. Things were good right now Ziva told herself, trying her best to push the thoughts of Tony and what he had said to the back of her mind.

* * *

When finally the night had come and they finally went to bed it was Ziva who walked to her mothers room. She knew her mother slept already, the curtain was open. What made Ziva wonder if what Tony had said was true. If she trueley had been where Ziva had been by the case of Saleem it was no wonder the curtains were open. Since she had return they had also been open the whole time. Just as a reminder that she was not there after a nightmare. To let her see another day was coming and was ready to being lived.

Ziva did something that she only remembered doing when her father was away for buisness. She walked softly to the quesst 1 and a half persons bed where her mother lay and klimbed in, lay next to her mother. For her supprice her mother did what she had always had done. She opened her arms and Ziva curled in them like a little girl.


	13. Love her

**So here is the next chapter. Hope you like where I am going. _TASK FOR YOU_: Guess to whitch direction I am going? What has all this to do with Saleem? What is Neorah's secret? Will there be Tiva to live for?**

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Underlined is said in Hebrew.

_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie._

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Chapter 13 - Love her

When Ziva had to come in to work the next day she took her mother with her. Because what ells should she do. When they entered the bull pen Ziva did not even look at Tony whitch hurt him. Mcgee saw the look on Tony's face. Tony had really changed after they had gotten Ziva back. He still was just a child sometimes, but when things did really matter or were about something even the slightest detail about Ziva he had grown. Maybe that was why her angry at him hurt him more than ever before.

Mcgee was taken from his thoughts when Gibbs entered. But after a short while he only said: "Mcgee go to Abby she asked for you. I'm getting coffee" and he walked away.

As if on a timer Ziva's phone rang. She answered and said: "I'll be there as soon as I can" then hung up.

"That was Ducky. He asked me to come down to him. Will you be okay" she said only to her mother, who nodded. Than Ziva left. When the elevator doors closed Neorah looked at Tony.

Tony tried to work, but Neorah kept looking at him. She only spoke when Tony looked back at her.

"You have not talked to Ziva yet" it was more of a statement than a question.

"No. I don't know why I should anymore"

"Well I can understand that she does not want to talk to you"

"Why?" this got Tony's interest.

"Well, she saw _you_ take me away after I just had come back"

"That were orders and Ziva told me herself That you get orders, you may not like them, but you follow them that's why they called orders!"

Neorah went on as if she had not heard him "A few months ago you shot her boyfriend"

"That was" Tony was getting annoyed, now that the things he had done wrong were pointed out.

"The last thing you did in Israel was fighting with her!"

"But i" his voice was starting to get angry and he rose it.

"Than a few years ago when you were in charged of the team you came around at her apartment. But you dropped it as soon as the director told you about a mission" While Tony's voice grew so did Neorah's hers became more powerful.

"I did" _why was she saying all those things?_

"She was worried because you were in the hospital. In the time she worried you were hanging with another woman" the argument grew stronger by the second.

"Another"

"And after all the things you did, you did not once apologise. I can imagine why she does not talk to you. You made it seem like you hate her" this was the final spat.

"But I love her" he yelled "I love her" on a softer tone. He looked at Neorah who looked at him with soft eyes and a smile on her face.

"Yes, I know. The important thing is that now you do too"

* * *

~In the meanwhile~

* * *

When Ziva arrived in autopsy she looked around she had expected to see Palmer and Ducky working on a body from which she had to give information about to Gibbs. But there wasn't a body. It was just Ducky working on his desk. When she entered

"Ziva my dear, glad you could come"

"Yes Ducky I am glad to see you to, but why did you let me come here, do I have to give something to Gibbs"

"No no, I asked you to come down here to talk. Sit " she did "and talk"

"About what Ducky?" she asked not sure if she liked where this was going.

"About how you are feeling dear"

Ziva looked away from Ducky "I do not see why that would be relevant"

"Ziva yesterday when you left with your mother to go to Abby's lab I say the look on you face. Why were you so upset"

"Because" was she really gonna talk to Ducky. She sighed " Because of Tony. I can't believe why he is. Well"

"Tony?" Ducky said "my dear, maybe you need to place your thoughts on your mother, and not on Anthony. Be happy that your mother is back, do not worry about the rest"

After some more small talk she left. When she came back upstairs, she sat down at her desk.

She did notice the looks that Neorah gave Tony and Tony gave her, but she did not ask about it. To Tony nor to Neorah. Not even when they were at home that night. Still her mother had a smile on her face, Ziva did not ask, but she was glad that her mother smiled.

* * *

The next morning when Ziva came in the kitchen all dressed and well her mother was preparing breakfast.

"Shalom, darling" Neorah walked to Ziva whose hair was halfway in a ponytail.

Neorah took Ziva's hands, she freed Ziva's hair from it's form and pulled lightly on her hair. Placing it half over her shoulders, Ziva looked at her not sure what to say.

"So there, now it falls just right. You look pretty my darling"

She went back to the kitchen and came back with a plate with bread. They sat down and ate it.

"I spoke with Tony yesterday"

Ziva did not say a thing, but looked away.

"Why do you not even say: "Hello " to him Zivaleh? It is not his fault that I had to come"

"Ima, please not now. It is what it is" with that Ziva got up. Put the plates in the sink and opened the door.

She waited for her mother to get in the car before she drove to NCIS.

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_**REVIEW!**_


	14. If i would die this very moment

**so here is the next chapter, i hope it worked because i do not have my normal laptop i have the one from my sister. Enjoy, and I like to read what you think will happen!**

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_Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie/thoughts_

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Chapter 14 - If i would die this very moment

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When they arrived at NCIS Ziva brought her mother to Abby before she left for the squad room. By the time she arrived there Tony was finally in.

After his sort of talk with Neorah, the other day he had realized something. He really did love her. He had loved Jeanne, but he had never been _in _love with Jeanne. Not unlike with Ziva, it hurt him every time she was on a date. Not to speak about the time that Damon came back. He needed to tell her how he fell, he owed her that much and more. But first he had to talk her apart.

* * *

They were the whole day out in the field an easy case, by the night they were done with it. Except the paperwork. Ziva and Tony were still behind their desks, when Mcgee bid them goodbye and left. Now they were alone, Tony stood up and looked to see if there were more people. The last one just left, so he walked to Ziva.

"Hey" he said not sure how to begin.

Ziva only looked up shortly before returning her attention back to her work.

"Can we talk?"

"sure, go ahead talk" Ziva said coldly

"I mean really talk Ziva, together" she looked up at him.

"What is there to talk about?" he could see the pain in her eyes. Even though she tried to hide it so strong.

"About what has happened, in the past few days. Even the last few years. I know you blame me for that your mother had to come here"

"Maybe because it is your fault"

"You know just as well as I that I had orders. You were the one that told me to follow orders"

She just stood up and grabbed her bag she wanted to walk away. But Tony grabbed her arm just as she was about to walk away.

"Ziva just listen, please. I know I have been a bit of a jerk. And I am not only talking about what happened with your mom. I am also talking about Jeanne, I should have trusted you, you're my partner"

_And that is all I will ever be to you _Ziva thought.

"Tony just spear yourself the trouble" And she walked to the elevator and pushed the button. Great she had to wait.

Tony did not give up he blocked the elevator.

"And when I shot Michael, it was not as if I wanted him dead. Ziva just trust me"

"Trust you" Ziva said: "why should I trust you after all. Because when I trusted you, you murdered my boyfriend, and before that you lied to me, about Jeanne. Go. Let me leave, I honestly do not understand why you even dare to talk about it. I have heard enough Tony goodnight" When she stepped in the elevator

"you also lied to me Ziva, I am not the only one. And you know damn well what I am talking about" He rose his voice. _No this is nothing like he planned it to go. _

"Let me leave, I honestly do not understand why you even dare to talk about it."

He could not let her leave not now he had come this far "Ziva you know why I did all the things I did. Well I did them for you because I "

"I have heard enough Tony, spare me more lies. Goodnight" she stepped in the elevator and left for Abby's lab. Letting Tony stand in front of the elevator.

Defeated he walked back to his desk, giving it a hard kick.

The next morning came to early for all of them.

It was hardly 0600 when they got a call from Gibbs. Another Saterday that wasn't going to be free.

Ziva did not like it because she would see Tony the memories of yesterday still to good in her mind.

Tony because he would see Ziva, the memories were still fresh in his mind maybe he had screwed up.

"Ima, I just got a call from Gibbs. I have to go to work. Will you be okay?"

"yes, darling. And yes I will be here if you come back" With that reinsurance Ziva left. When she entered the crime scene Mcgee and Gibbs were already there. Shortly after she got out Ducky and Palmer arrived. Of course Tony was late as always.

She was just interviewing a few witnesses, when his car drove in. immidiately her attention went from the witnesses to Tony. He turned his car off and got out. He was just out of his car when their gaze hold.

* * *

Tony POV

When I turned off my car I saw her. The woman that had stolen my heart. If I should die this very moment I wouldn't woman that I love does not love me back, why would I be happy if she is not in my arms.

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Third POV

He had walked about five steps away from his car when it happened. Gibbs had looked up with worry, Mcgee had looked up from the sound. Ducky stopped his endless long storys, and Palmer had looked up in shock. But that was not nearly as bad as Ziva. When it happened her world stopped, it seemed as if her heart was ripped out, and thrown into flames. When the bang came she saw the look in his eyes. She saw him get blown away and land a few meters further. She let the witnesses behind and run to him, Gibbs tried to stop her. Yelling at her that there could be more explosions. But she did not care she run to him.

_If I should die this very moment I wouldn't feel_

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_Line : if I should die this very moemnt I wound't feel original from Lamb preforming Gorecki_

_**welll what do you think, Review and you'll get a probie snack and a preview for the next chapter**_


	15. The moon is broken

**this chapter really sucks, i my head it sounded so good, but i had to tell it because otherwise i have to skip a lot of time. Still it sucks. But review anyway, to make my day better

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**_Chapter 15 – The moon is broken_**

It seemed to take hours before she got to him. When she finally reached him she knelt down to him. There were burning wounds on his arms and legs, in his face were only a few scratches. He probably got the bad hit on his back, when Ziva wanted to turn him around she spotted the line in his neck. It was filling fast with fresh blood.

"Call 9-1-1" she yelled "Now"

She put her hand on the wound trying to stop the bleeding. She knew at some point Gibbs knelt down next to her, closely followed by Ducky, but the only thing she could focus on was him. He could not die, not now, not like this.

When the doctors arrived they tried to push her away, but she kept holding on. Until four pair of arms pull her back.

"they need to do their work Ziver" it was Gibbs

"he will be okay, he always is okay" Mcgee.

* * *

The trip to Bethesda she could not remember. Only that when they came she had only one more glance at him before they drove him away to the OK. She fell two arms pushing her down on a chair, but did not react. She did not even move until she fell the soft hands of her mother on her arms. She looked up and meet her eyes, there was only that needed for Neorah to wrap her arms around Ziva.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, where is he? We came as fast as we could, we are not to late are we? Ow Gibbs he is not…he is not dead is he, say he is alright"

Gibbs wrapped his arms around Abby and whispered in her ear "he is not dead Abs, and he will not die. I did not give him permission"

In the meanwhile Ducky was trying to find out more from the doctors, and Mcgee and Palmer just sat next to each other, having small talk, just so that they would not break down like Abby or Ziva.

* * *

After five hours of operating, finally a doctor came out of the OK.

The whole group stood together, when he spoke

"you are family of Anthony Dinozzo"

"the closest thing he has to a family" Gibbs said

"very well than. We were able to stop the bleedings he had, inside and outside. We did our best to heal the wounds on his back, there is not unrepairable damage done, he will need to go to the ICU** so he can fully recover that is if"

"ifs are not good, are they. O please tell me that"

"Abigail, let the doctor finish"

"that is if he wakes up. Because of the blood loss we lost him two times, once in the ambulance and one when we were just healing his back. That caused him to slip into a coma"

There was a silence from the group

"you can go and see him, but no more that two at a time. Some doctors say that one in a coma can hear the people around them, others say they don't, there is a change trying. If he cannot hear you, the last thing he saw or heard is the one memory he has and lives on. It depends on him if he will wake up, two of you can go in now"

"Ziver i think you should go in first alone"

Ziva nodded and walked behind the doctor. In front of the room she stood still. The doctor left her and she was standing alone outside his room. She slowly opened the door, her hand found her mouth from what she saw. There he lay, all bandaged up, IV's in his body, it made her feel sick. It had all been her fault that he was here. She could not take it anymore. With tears falling down her face she ran away. As fast as she could she run. When she passed the team she did not look back she just kept running. She did not bother to hold a cab, she just run, run away from another "her fault".

* * *

They all saw her leave, neither one of them spoke a word about it. Pair by pair they visited Tony.

For the next few days they all stayed at the day. So that at least one person was there in the day. They were not allowed at night by the hospital.

No one knew where Ziva was, Neorah was worried about her. They all were. The first day Ziva found herself at the bar Tony and she sometimes went to after a long case. How or where she slept she could not recall. The whole day she wandered through the city, only to end up round 11pm in front of his apartment. She broke in, she changed in a to over sized shirt from him and crawled into his bed. Taking his smell, dreaming about him.

It had taken her another day to convince herself to visit him. And so at the fourth night she went to the hospital. The floor was almost abandoned, a part from a few nurses. She slipped past them and into his room, she sat down next to him. Just looking at him slowly the night went away and was replaced by the sun. In less than 20 minutes a doctor would come and check on him so she left. There was nothing that gave away she had been there.

Ziva opened the door to her apartment. Till her surprise her mother was in the living room, she stood up and brought Ziva in an embrace. That day she went to work just like any other day. McGee had looked up, Gibbs had looked up but neither one said a word. They both knew something had happened between Tony and Ziva.

What Ziva had done continued, at night she went to Tony's room and sat until the sun came just looking at him. As a result she hadn't slept in three days. Everyone at work noticed that she was exhausted.

The night that just came she was so tired. She sat down beside him, placing her hand on his. Slowly her head went to her arm and she fell asleep. Only to be found the next morning by Ducky, the nurses had seen her and hadn't come and check on Tony for now. When Ducky looked in the room a small smile grew on his face. It was bad enough he had to be here, but to see this was right. He softly closed the door and left.

Ziva woke from the nurses that came in. It was than she knew she had fallen asleep. Now she was here she promised herself not to leave him alone, not again so she stayed.

Against the words of Gibbs and her mother in she stayed with him. Day and night, only leaving for an hour max to clean herself, take a shower put on clean clothes and eat. No one saw it, but she was getting desperate, he had to wake up.

On the days that Ziva spend with Tony Neorah was or with Ziva looking at her, or with Abby today was a day she was with Abby. One way or another they began to talk.

"how was Ziva when she was a little girl?" Abby asked curious.

"well" Neorah thought for a moment "she was different and the same as now in many ways. I remember that one night I think she was three she came to me crying in the middle of the night because the moon was broken. It took me a while to explain it was not broken, but that we just couldn't see a part of it"

Abby laughed when she heard that

"that reminds me of something Ziva once told me. It was a year ago from when Kate died. She had found me, we talked and she calmed me, because I was afraid that because we became best friends I would forget about Kate in a while. She told me that it would not happen. Because there would always be a part of Kate in me where ever I went, she told me "a loved one is just like the moon, sometimes we only see half of it or not at all but it is always there" now I guess I know where that came from"

They laughed together.

"how is my daughter now?"Neorah wanted to know from Abby.

"She has become my best friend. She does not talk much about herself, but I can always go to her. Sometimes she is really stubborn"

"She always has been"

They talked some more and Abby told Neorah things that Ziva had not told. She was now telling about the bickering of Tony and Ziva

"And the most annoying thing is that they don't see they totally are in love with each other. Oops" Abby said "It's just"

"How they look at each other, you know Abby even if I have not been in my daughter's life for twenty years, but I always know what she feels, even when she was little"

"So you mean you saw it to" Neorah nods.

"You have to be blind not to see it"

The day passed slowly also for Ziva, she had started to talk to Tony, tell him things about when she was little or just about memories they had together.

Round dinnertime Neorah went to visit Ziva and Tony, she heard Ziva talk and decided to wait, she could hear every word

"They would beat me for days, to get information, sometimes they would hold my head under water until everything went black, they have broken most of my bones, there were days when I did not see them, without food or water. And the only thing I could think about was you, I saw your face and I got me through, I thought if I would die now I would not mind because you would be safe in DC"

Neorah got tears in her eyes when she heard what she had done, she turned around and left.

There was nothing that she needed with her there was only one more stop to make. Today she would leave her daughter's life again, for what she had done she did not deserve Ziva, she would be better of without her.

She walked in the house, she heard sounds in the basement and went down. There was the last thing she needed to do, she walked down the stairs, Gibbs looked up.

"Shalom Gibbs" Neorah said "I am here to ask you a favor"

Gibbs stopped with what he was doing. And nodded for her to continue

"Will you promise me to look after my Ziva?" She asked him.

"why do you ask?" Gibbs hoped his gut was wrong for one time in his life.

"I cannot stay here, I did a horrible thing, I do not deserve her"

"You cannot leave her, not now not again. Even if you think you do not deserve her, she deserves you, you are her mother"

"the things I have done I cannot look her in the eye and tell her the truth"

Gibbs sighed "You can't walk away from your daughter, see needs you know, and she will never forgive you if you do. If I was you I would be in seventh heaven, my daughter died and I wished I had the change you have now, to hold her to be with her"

"But what if I disappoint her, if I tell her the truth she will never trust me again"

"you still will be able to see her, and trust can heal over time. You have to stay not for yourself, but for your daughter"

**A/N I said this one sucked**

**** please help me out here, I could not find the translation anywhere and I like to do it good, I think I got it changed right now but if not tell me**


	16. Waking up

**Chapter 16 – Waking up**

Neorah stayed after her talk with Gibbs, but didn't tell Ziva anything, it was better to keep some things a secret.

Ziva was still with Tony every day, praying that he would wake up. It became to much the next day. She looked at him, this could not happen, it was more than a week ago since he had slipped into the coma.

There were tears forming in her eyes "I wish I could take it all back" a deep sob like breath she took. "I am so sorry for the things I said, if I had not said it than maybe this would not have happened" the first tear fell from her eye

"I know that it is not your fault, I just needed someone to be angry at and it was you, sorry Tony, for all" more tears were falling "please wake up, the team needs you to wake up, I need you to wake up, I need you please"

From the exhaustion she couldn't help the tears, the cries. She put her arms on the bed just next to his arms and her head on her arms and she cries.

What she did not know was that Tony was waking up. He heard her every word, he needed to wake up for her, and he did.

His eyes fluttered open she did not notice. It was then he heard her cry, loud and clear. He could not speak, to much pain so he did the one thing he could do.

Even with much pain he knew to raise his arm. He placed his hand on her head, this made her look up.

"Tony your. I am so sorry, I did not" she began he stopped her and with the most effort he said

"It's okay" and he stoke her hair.

At that a nurse came in, having heard Tony wake up. She checked everything, when she left Ziva had Tony's hand in hers. When Tony had gotten some water his throat hurt less. He looked at Ziva she looked so tired.

"Zi, you look tired, sleep"

"but you"

"I'll be still here if you wake up"

She put her head down much like she had done before and she slept. Tony looked at her, stroke her hair and soon he was asleep to.

**I know this it probably the shortest chapter you ever read, it's almost a drabble in a story, but it felt better to end it here. Just the feeling you know**


	17. The lion waits

**Chapter 17 -****_ When the lion waits till the baby gazelle stands up_**

The next day everyone came to visit Tony, and for the first time in almost two weeks Ziva let someone ells than her stay the night with Tony. She did not went to her place, but to his.

The days she spend with him, only two days a week someone els was with him. then she was at work or with her mom. When Tony was finally relised Ziva and him gotten time of, Gibbs knew that Ziva wanted to be with him, and Tony needed some one to look after him.

Gibbs had not told Ziva that her mother had want to leave her. It was better that she did not know.

Two weeks after that Tony was releashed Neorah got the first letter.

Ziva was still sleeping with Tony when Neorah opened the letter.

* * *

_Talk and you'll die,_

_You have 20 days to leave if not we kill you and after that them

* * *

_

She made 100 pieces of it and thew it away.

The sun was shining in the room when Ziva woke. She looked at Tony who was staring at her.

"Hi" She spoke "Sleep wel"

"If you are with me I always sleep wel" Tony kissed her. His wounds had healed good in two weeks he could come back to work to do deskwork and make photo's on the sence.

Even if he had never gotten back to work he would not have mind. Ziva belonged with him now, as long as he had her his world was good.

* * *

The next day she gotten another letter

_As a little fly in the spiders web,_

_19 days

* * *

_

These continued for all the days. Neorah did not let them show to anyone. She would take the days as given and leave on the last day.

The nineteenth day she did not got a letter. Maybe they would leave her alone she hoped but this was not true.

When they arrived in the bullpen Tony cheered "It's good to be back" Ziva smiled at him, immediately he took a paper and made a ball out of it. When McGee walked passed his desk he threw it to his head and hit.

"Good to see you to Tony" McGee said sarcastically and nodded a hello to Neorah and Ziva.

Ziva got a letter, but it was not addressed to her but to Neorah.

"Ima, this is for you" She said and gave the letter to her mother.

The whole team had taken place behind their desks. Neorah on a chair next to Ziva. Neorah opened the letter.

* * *

"_When the lion waits till the baby gazelle stands up  
_

_1 day"

* * *

_

What did that even mean. Who was the baby gazelle, than Ziva stood up. Suddenly a loud bang and everyone looked up, in the bullet proof glass was a bullet, pointing right at Ziva. As on a cue two men with both a PDW gun in their hands show out of no where, they began to shoot at the MCRT team. Neorah who was just standing a bit from them away it being grabbed by one of the man. She does not even feel the sting of the needle in the back of her neck.

The team responded quickly and pulled their guns. They had one guy down but did not want to risk hurting Neorah if they shot the other. The man that hold Neorah was screaming something, Hebrew, only Ziva and Neorah could understand. Ziva froze in her spot. Neorah hit him with her elbow on his jaw, he had lost his grip on her for only a moment and Neorah ducked. The team all shot him down. He fell backwards from the power. No one was hurt, or was there on person. Ziva still had not moved from the words of the man.

Gibbs was beginning to bark orders at the whole floor

"Everyone walk slowly down the stairs, wait in the break room. Tony take Ziva and her mom home than come back and help" Tony nodded.

"Are you okay?" He asked Neorah

"Ken, euh yes" Neorah said, also hit by the words. How would Ziva take it.

"Ziva come on, were leaving" he said an muttered under his breath "So much for the good to be back".

He noticed that Ziva was not following him, he looked at her. Her gun in her hand pointed at the floor. Tony took the gun out of her hands and took her arm. Like that they walked down the stairs like everyone ells.

In the car ride to Ziva's place neither of them spoke. Tony opened the door and lead Ziva in, Neorah following. Neorah placed her hand on Tony's shoulder she gave him some sort of sad smile and said:

"Thank you, I'll take care of her"

When she turned around Ziva had diapered. Neorah looked around worried, and heard Ziva in her bedroom. She did not dare to walk in, maybe she needed to think. Neorah sat down on the couch and was hold in memory's.

* * *

"_Tell me all you know about Mossad"_

"_No"_

"_Seems like the pets of your husband are coming"  
_

"_He was planning it when you were still there now answer me, what will they do?"_

_

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_

**A/N REVIEW**

**Tell me what do you think Neorah is hiding?  
**


	18. Did not know

**I know it is a short chapter but i wanted to give you something.**

**As you can see i am back from Vienna ( I constantly said Wien because i thought it was the English name for Vienna instead of the german)**

**It was really awesome. lots of things have past my eyes Some things: _the kiss, Judith From Klimt, Shönbrun palace of Sissy_**

**_And a really weird thing happened we were back in the plane, back tot the Netherlands. I was sitting beside my uncle walks a stewardess by, stops. Looks closly at my uncle and asks (whole conversation in Dutch)_**

**_"Are you from the Netherlands" my uncle "Yess" the stewardess thinks and says "Have you ever worked on the Karel de Grote College in Nijmegen?" My uncle answers yes she says "O now i remember. You are Mister M. (not using his full name) I have had a period from you" So the talk goes on and at the end he gets a large bag with cookies, drinks and even champagne, which were the left overs from the flight  
_**

_CHAPTER 18_

When she awoke the sun just began to shine. Today was the day of goodbye. There was nothing she needed, they would kill her as soon as they had her. She walked to Ziva's room, softly she said

"Shalom my love" Neorah turned around and was by the door when she heard Ziva behind her.

"Walk away, that seems the only thing you can do" Ziva nearly shouted

Neorah turned around "Ziva please understand this is for the best"

"Like it was for the best what you told them" Ziva was really angry and hurt.

"I did not want to my love"

"Don't call me your love. I am not, it is because of you they did" She could not speak the words

she did not have spoken them to any one, not Gibbs, not Tony, not her mother.

"I know what they did, they hold me for over fifteen years. Don't think I know how they hit, how they nearly take your breath away by water "

Ziva looked at her mother "Then why are you still alive?" it was a bitter dark tone.

"After the first two months they stopped beating me" anger was building in Neorah as well, but not at her daughter at the man that had taken her away from Ziva. "For fifteen years I worked for them, made them dinner cleaned there mess. There was not one day I did not hope they let me go, or that I could escape to you and your sister"

"They why didn't you? Why, if you claim to love me so much did you tell them?"

"A month of beating after a long period of time not training it hard for a person. They hit me more often and harder than before. These terrorist were younger, when I had to give in I only told them enough information so they could take the two Mossad officers that were heading their way. Ziva darling you have to believe me, if it had been you"

"You did not ever think it could be me, or even Tali? And what about the two how would have come if I hadn't you just let them die" Ziva yelled.

"I thought that a Mossad officer chosen to do that job would be strong enough to handle the beating and could escape"

"Do you even know what they did?"

"Yes Ziva I know. I have been there, and I am sorry that you got the same beating as me but I "

"Beating the only thing you talk about is beating" the first tear fell from her eyes.

"Beating was not all they did Ima, they" more tears "They hold me down and raped me, day after day in every possible way you could rape someone, all because of you "

Her mother's eyes got foggy as well. "I did not know darling" a tear fell from her eye

"And now, you want to walk away again, leave me again. But after what you did I don't know if I care anymore" Ziva said through her tears.

"Please Ziva let me"

"No, this time it will not be you who walks away from me. But me as I walk away from you. I wish you had not come back" Ziva cried out and turned away to the door. When she wanted to walk to the door and open it her mother tried again

"Let me…" more Neorah did not spoke. She inhaled deeply what made Ziva look around, tears still on her cheeks and in her eyes.

There was no word more spoken before it went worse than it was.

When Ziva faced her mother she was in time to see her fall down, breathing heavily.

It was as if her world was almost shattered again, she momentarily forgot all of her anger as she rushed to her mother.

"Ima" she said shakily, from the tears and from shock. The breathing of her mother had calmed down, to maybe to slow soft breaths, and her eyes were falling close " Ima stay with me. You are not doing this" she almost screamed.

She called 9-1-1, screaming at them not to try and calm her down but to come quicker.

It seem to take ages before they arrived and in that time the only things Ziva could do was holding her mother, begging her to be okay and pray.


	19. Broken pieces

**I know it is like another short chapter but sometimes it just feels not good if a chapter is longer. Which i had with this one it just felt right to end it there.**

* * *

CHAPTER 19

* * *

In the waiting room of the hospital was only one person found. A woman who at the moment looked like a lost little girl. The lost little girl she actually was inside. The woman had once been full of fire, of spirit, but right now the world seemed to pas to quick.

They were still working on her it was 0800 she had been there for over five hours, the only thing the nurse had come to tell was that "It was too early to tell".

* * *

_IN THE BULLPEN_

"Dinozzo, where is Ziva?" Gibbs barked, she was over an hour late this was nothing for her.

"No idea boss" he looked at his watch, over an hour late "Shit" he mumbled to himself. She was never late, never or sick, did she have and doctors or dentist appointment he tried to remember. Of course not she would have told him, if not him Gibbs and then he would not be asking where she was.

Just as he was starting to freak out his phone rang he recognized the number "Ziva where are you?"

The Ziva on the phone did not sound like Ziva, she had begun to break down and was now sobbing into the phone "She just…fell…in front of…of my eyes"

"Ziva calm down where are you?"

"She is in there for six hours now…they won't tell"

While Ziva was saying this Dinozzo whispered to Mcgee "Mcgee locate Ziva's cell"

Mcgee had done it in a few seconds Tony looked where: Bethesda.

"Zi, just hang on I'll be there" and he hung up. Gibbs just walked back in

"Where are you going Dinozzo"

"Ziva boss, she called and…" She had been crying this was not good "I need to go to her"

And he rushed past Gibbs, Gibbs looked at Mcgee

"Ziva was very upset when she spoke it sounded as if she was crying boss" Mcgee answered only hearing the tone and sobs in which Ziva spoke not the words.

"Okay, just go on with the paperwork Tony will call us" Gibbs said to the younger agent. He did not like to wait on the side line, but the only one Ziva would need now whatever was happening, was Tony

* * *

_AT THE HOSPITAL_

Tony came almost running in the waiting room. The room hold a certain sadness in it. He looked around to find Ziva. There she was sitting on one of the plastic chairs. She had her knees up to her chest and had her head buried in them, she was gently rocking forth and back. Tony's heart shattered in thousand pieces when he saw her like this, he walked to her and sat down next to her. Placing a hand on her head.

Ziva looked up and saw Tony, she broke down again but this time in secure arms, that rocked her softly and calmed her down a bit. Arms in which she felt protected from the world around her.

How long they sat like that before a doctor came neither knew.

"Miss Ziva David"

Neither bothered to correct him, Ziva just nodded

"You can come with me" After he saw the way Ziva hold onto the man, she hold onto him like without him she would drown "As well as your partner"

While they walked through the cold hospital halls he spoke to them both.

"The condition of your mother is what we worry for. She is awake right now but a bit weak. We have found some sort of toxic in her system, on problem we don't know it"

In front of the room they stopped the doctor looked Ziva in the eyes which forced her to pay attention.

"I have to tell you something that no one wants to hear" He sighed how he hated this part, the woman almost a little girl right now was already broken and breaking down before his eyes, this would break her finally "We cannot make an antidote in two days. What is all your mother has left. I am sorry, we will make it as painless as we can"

Then he walked away leaving Ziva and Tony before the closed door.

"Tony she…she cannot die…I just" And she broke down, the last bit of glue that held the already shattered pieces together vanished.

She felt like falling down a deep dark hole, in fact she fell down through her knees Tony got her. Trying to hold the pieces of her together, only now seeing that she was nothing more than a little girl. Who was being pushed away and replaced with a mask since her mother left.

* * *

**So what do you think**

**i know it's sad but...**

**tell me what you think of it; REVIEW  
**


	20. Don't cry over me, my child

Underlined is said in Hebrew.

**Before you begin to read I wanted to say I have luckily never been in some sort of situation. So I don't know how it really feels but I try my best**

**And love and hugs for the ones that have gone through losing a parent or relative, or loved one**

CHAPTER 20

Tony held Ziva until the she stopped sobbing she turned to him and looked in his eyes. A thank you came from them, he responded by kissing her softly on her for head.

They had sat on the ground and Tony helped Ziva up "Whenever you are ready"

After a few minutes she had pulled together what could be pulled together and she walked in. Tony right behind her.

The room did not help the feeling of sadness that they fell. The walls and floor where some sort of grey, the bed held white sheets and a brownish collared warmer blanket.

Ziva walked to her mother who looked back at her. Something in Tony told him he needed to held distance for a while.

"Ima" Ziva said as she stood next to her mothers' bed, she had an IV in her arm and a heart monitor which gave a rather slow but steady beat. She also had those oxygen tubes by her nose.

She grabbed her mothers' hand "I am so sorry"

With much effort Neorah placed her other hand on Ziva's cheek. She whispered back

"It's okay darling I did not know. It is I who am sorry"

"Ima please be better" Tears were falling from her eyes again.

Neorah had been told the same as Ziva. The moment she had been told she had also broken down, not as bad as Ziva though. Without her there her little girl would be safe, and maybe that way Ziva could forget the bad things that happened.

"Zivaleh you know I can't. But I'll promise you that if you think of me I always be there. Do not cry over me my child. I do not deserve it. Please stay with me as long as we have left, all I ask for"

"But" Ziva said

Tony knew it was his moment to step up. He had not understand a word from what they had said but after one look of Ziva he knew she needed him by her side. He placed his arms around her loos enough so she was still facing her mother strong enough to let her know she was not alone.

After a while he kissed Ziva's temple and whispered to her that he would call Gibbs.

Tony grabbed his phone out of his pocket and pressed speed dial one. After a few rings Gibbs picked up the phone

"Gibbs"

"Boss, it's me" Tony sighed, how was he supposed to explain what was going on. Had he even the right to tell them, it would be hard for Ziva or Neorah to tell them but it would be better. She could tell them when she was ready "I am in the hospital Bethesda's, it is Neorah"

"Were on our way"

When Tony put his phone back in his pocket he whipped with his hand over his face. He could not imagine what Ziva had to go through, but he would help her, he would be there for her.

Within fifteen minutes the team was in the waiting room. Tony walked back into the room where Neorah was. He saw Ziva stroke her mothers' hair, still tears in her eyes but now determent not to let them fall. She looked up when she heard the sound of the door opening.

Slowly he walked to her on the rhythm of the heart beat monitor. She stood up and he knew what to do. He placed both of his arms around her, one on her waist one on her head, which he used to pull her head to his mouth and kissed her for head.

He whispered to her "The team is waiting outside. Whenever you're ready"

She nodded; they stood there for a while, both listening to the beep…beep…..beep.

Then they parted before they walked out the door Ziva said to Tony "Thank you"

"For what?"

"Being here for me, not telling the team"

"Always for you"

The corners of her lips lifted in a very small smile

The team was waiting for Ziva to show. When she came in the room neither knew exactly how to react because they did not know what was going on.

"Ziver what happened?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva just stared into nothing, Gibbs looked at Abby McGee and Ducky who all got the hint and left, Gibbs looked also at Tony. He saw that the younger agent did not want to go, after one final look at Gibbs eyes he walked behind Ducky.

"Come" Gibbs said as he led Ziva to one of the uncomfortable chairs.

When they both said Gibbs patiently waited for Ziva to talk and after a few minutes she took a deep breath and spoke up

"She is dying" She looked at Gibbs with big deer like eyes "we had a fight and she fell down"

Gibbs wanted to place his hand on her shoulder to let her know he understood and that he was there for her. When he touched her she jerked away in a flinching way**

""She told me" He waited for her to say what "It was all because of her"

"What was because of her Ziver?"

"Salim. That was the reason she never returned to take us with her, she had been captive by him, well not by him, but by the one he took the place from" Tears full of hurt pain and ghosts from months ago came back "She told them, that was why they could take me, I was so angry with her. I told her I wished she had not come back"

"Ziver its okay" Gibbs told her as he pulled her close "Your mom is safe now in the hospital, the doctors can heal her"

Ziva shook her head, with that Gibbs let her go. All that could be seen in her eyes was pain.

"No"

"What do you mean?" Somewhere Gibbs knew what she was about to say, deep down, because he had seen that pain once before. In Tony's eyes when he told him that Ziva David was no longer alive, that she was lying on the bottom of the ocean, in the wreck that once was the Damocles***.

"The doctors, they cannot heal her. The poison is unknown, and making an antidote takes more than two days, which is all she has left"

Gibbs did not speak another word, he just held his broken daughter in his arms, and prayed for her. That it was only a nightmare.

* * *

** Don't even know if that is possible but it sounded nice

*** I know I have spelled it wrong sorry

**Review, **

**I need the love XD  
**


	21. Saying goodbye

**Chapter 21- Saying goodbye

* * *

**

**I hate this chapter really really much. I wrote it over and over but it still sucks the team says goodbye that part sucks .Sorry so don't be mad at me**

**also i do apologize for not posting a chapter so long just the familiar story school has began. I will try to put up a chapter once a week**

**

* * *

**

When Ziva was still crying Gibbs took his phone out. He knew you was not allowed to call in a hospital but he was not the one Ziva needed right now. She needed Tony, Tony picked up his cell after the first ring

"Dinozzo she needs you" Gibbs spoke. He heard a click and knew Tony would be there within a minute.

And Gibbs was right within a minute Tony was at the end of the hall. He saw Ziva and did not hesitate twice. He took the place from Gibbs who stood up. Ziva looked up and only whispered

"Tell them" Gibbs only nodded in respond.

And that was what he went to do. He found his team together in the cafeteria of the hospital. Abby against Mcgee's shoulder, Ducky and Palmer silent next to each other.

He did not sat down next to one of them he just began to speak. He knew what Ziva wanted to be told. Not what Ziva had said to her mother, not that she somewhere was angry at her, not that Neorah was the reason they had lost Ziva in the summer, no that would be a secret, on only Gibbs, Neorah, Tony and Ziva would share. She wanted him to tell the team that her mother was sick, and would not be better; she wanted him to tell them that the doctors could not do anything. Because if she had to herself she would break for good.

"Neorah is really sick"

"But the doctors they will make her better right?" It was Abby who asked the question she looked like a little girl.

Everyone knew that Abby and Ziva were best friends and that Neorah and Abby had also grew closer while Tony had been in the hospital.

"No, she has been injected with an unknown serum it takes longer than the two days she has to develop an antidote"

At that Abby started crying against McGee, Ducky mumbled a prayer and Palmer, well let's just say he did his sort of reaction.

* * *

"Hey Zi" Tony whispered in her hair.

Ziva had stopped crying a while ago and now she just sat in his lab as a porcelain doll, to breakable to move.

For a while she did not respond, it was as if she was in her own little world. Until suddenly she looked up at him "Will you go in with me?" She asked. She looked at him full of hope she needed him with her. He nodded and got her on her feet. Together they walked the room in.

They watched Neorah sleep. You could see that she was running backwards. Her skin tone was paler than it should be, and her lips held an unhealthy bluish color, just as her eyes and the skin under it seemed darker than when Ziva and Tony had walked out the room to talk to Gibbs.

When the time moved on Ziva fell asleep, Tony watched her for a while.

He could only half imagine what she went through. In some way it reminded him about his mother. He had been so much younger, but was he truly. Every second he had watched Ziva he saw her become younger and younger. He had told it to himself before and he thought it again. When her mother had left a part of her had stayed at the same age while her other half had grown, not knowing it had trapped the younger part in her fears and sadness.

The strong woman he normally saw and the little girl in fear were one and the same, it was his Ziva the woman he loved and needed to protect. He would try and protect her from al the evil in the world only he feared that this time his protection was not enough to save her. He could only pray and heal her after the final break down.

After that he slowly was lulled by the sleep and soon had a dreamless sleep.

* * *

In the morning he woke up by a pair of eyes that were staring at him, Neorah's.

"Good morning" She said very softly but he thought that maybe she could not speak louder. He replayed and at that Ziva woke up.

At first you could see the hope on her face that was wishing she had just dreamt everything but the hope soon faded away.

"Are you in pain?" Ziva asked, Neorah shook her head and spoke up

"I need to tell you something"

Neorah laid herself a little bit higher in the bed before she began "I have not told you everything. I did not remember it before but now I do. I think I know who made this happen. You see when I was there, they made me work for them, after a few years they began sloppy around me because they thought I would never get out. I have much information about them that is why they try to kill me. The shooting at NCIS was because of me. I had received notes that I had to leave or they would kill you that is why I tried to leave Ziva"

Ziva just nodded not knowing what to say or do.

"Salim, he…he was not alone. There was one other who lead the group but he mostly stayed in the dark and was away. His name is Kalam he is Salim's brother. I am sorry Ziva had should have remembered it sooner"

"No, it is not your fault. It is his"

For a while no one said a thing Ziva held her mothers' hand in her own.

"We have to tell Gibbs" Tony finally spoke "They can find them and"

Tony was broken off by the doors that opened. The whole team was there. Gibbs and Ducky had decided that they all should come at the same time, to say goodbye to Neorah. And the rest of the time they would be ready to go to Ziva when needed. Neorah and Ziva had missed both out on a lot, and the last days they needed to be with each other.

Ziva looked at Tony, on look said enough she wanted him to tell Gibbs. And he understood she did not want to be away from her mother one single second now the time was slipping away.

Tony stood op squeezing Ziva's hand and motioning to Gibbs he needed to come.

The team went in one by one saying their own goodbyes.

* * *

The first was Mcgee, at first he did not know what he could say and what not. But Neorah smiled at him friendly and he made up the courage to speak.

"I actually don't know what to say or tell to make things less difficult. I guess this is goodbye, euhh"

It was not Neorah who spoke up but Ziva "It is okay Mcgee, you did not have to say anything persee"

"Thank you" Neorah said after this. Mcgee walked to Neorah to and gave her an unsure hug. At Ziva he just squeezed her shoulder.

* * *

The next was Ducky

He walked in and stood still at the foot end of the bed and began to speak;

God looked around his garden,  
and He found an empty place.  
He then looked down upon this Earth,  
and sees your tired face.

He will put his arms around you,  
And will lift you to rest.  
God's garden must be beautiful,  
He always takes the best.

He sees that the road is getting rough,  
And the hills are hard to climb,  
So He will close your weary eyelids  
And whispered, "Peace by Thine."

It is breaking our hearts to lose you,  
But you will not go alone.  
For part of us goes with you,  
The day God calls you home

* * *

"Boss, there is something you have to do. Neorah told to Ziva and me that Salim had a brother Kalam he is behind this all"

Gibbs nodded "We'll find him"

_I hope in time _Tony though "There are letters I think in Ziva's apartment to Neorah"

* * *

The next one was Abby, She was crying when she came in. And rushed to Neorah to and gave her a big bear hug. When she did that she spoke "I really really am going to miss you"

"It is okay Abby" Neorah spoke in her ear.

Abby went all crying to Ziva and hugged her as well "I will ask the nuns to pray for you and your mom" with that she left the room.

* * *

Gibbs was the last one, he did not speak only was there and it was enough. When he walked to the bed it was Neorah who spoke.

"I have asked you before and I do it again" it was the first time that Neorah had begun to cry "Take care of my little girl"

"I will" Gibbs promised and he embraced Neorah whispering "I will" a few times over. He stood up and kissed Ziva on her fore head. And the two of them were alone for just a while before Tony entered.

* * *

**I know that I broke the goodbye from ducky there but I just did not know how to end it so it is just the poem in which ducky says goodbye**

**Tell me what did you think of the poem from Ducky?**


	22. Nothing but a good dream

**I wanted to thank two people;**

**Alibiabin: for faith fully reviewing as my very first reviewer all time and this story, thank you that you always give your opinion**

**Betherzz: For also faith fully reviewing, and very often give really long reviews with ideas and opinions i can work with.**

**Thanks to both of you this chapter is for you

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**

**_Chapter 22 Nothing but a good dream_**

* * *

Ziva and Neorah talked about the good times they had had together. Tony only listened, getting to see another side of Ziva the part he only saw when Ziva was sure they were at home and alone. Round an hour or three Neorah was so tired that she fell asleep. Ziva had held Tony's hand and was almost crushing it.

"Ziva what is wrong"

Ziva stood up and left the room. Tony did not let it go that quick though. He walked after her out the door, and grabbed her hand turning her around.

"Just leave me alone, I do not want to talk" Ziva said angry at him.

"Ziva look at me, I cannot begin how to feel like you do but don't push me away. Tell me why you are angry"

She took her anger out on the wall she kicked it before she leaned her head against it.

"It was all fake, nothing more than a good dream. I began to think that it was the way it supposed to be, something for forever. It just felt safe, but look now, it is as if I have woken up from a dream and everything has slipped away, there is just no point anymore"

He knew she was talking about her mother "Ziva you should not think like that"

"And how should I think then?"

"Ziva, you have had her in your life not for long but you got to see her again. You never have to wonder why she left, if she loves you, because you know and she does. Don't think it was a waist because it was not"

"Why is this happening Tony?" She asked her voice trembling so Tony wrapped his arms around her.

"I wish I know Zi. I wish I knew"

* * *

In the mean while at NCIS the team was busy searching for Kalam. Abby could not trace the fingerprint but she was getting somewhere with Mcgee. Form the things they had found on the shooters from the days before.

While they were all working they all were working for just one person alone, Neorah. She had not been very long with them but the team was a family and the pain of one was the pain of all.

* * *

The night went bye way to quick for Ziva and Neorah. Ziva wished that she had her mother longer around to feel what it was to have a mother, and not being one for your little sister. Neorah wished that she had longer with her little girl, her first born daughter, to try and fix the mistakes she had made in the past.

When they both woke up, Tony just came in with something to drink. He had made himself use full to make sure Ziva eat and drank enough. Neorah could not hold the food anymore so it was being send through an IV in her hand. He knew Ziva did not want to leave her mother but he could go for a minute or five to make sure that they both were as okay as was possible.

The time went bye. Abby and Mcgee hadn't slept they had kept working and were coming somewhere.

It was an hour or four when Tony was called by Abby, saying they needed Ziva's help, but understood that she would not leave on the last day, but that Tony could help to.

"Ziva, Neorah, Abby called for my help, I am"

"it is okay Tony" Ziva whispered "go and catch the man who did this"

Tony kissed Ziva on the top of her head and hugged Neorah, not daring to say it wouldn't be the last time he saw her alive

And he went to NCIS, he helped by answering the questions from Abby and Mcgee. They were getting somewhere. They knew he was in DC but not yet where.

* * *

Ziva sat next to her mother, just watching her sleep. Somewhere Ziva hoped that she would not wake up, because she was afraid of watching the life slip away from her mothers eyes. Because she was afraid of what pain her mother would have. What she did not know was that Neorah was awake, she was just to tired to open her eyes, and her plan was to go sleep.

Ziva's phone how ever had different plans, it started to ring. She had forgotten to put it out.

"David" She answered

"How is your mother doing?"

"Who are you?"

"Tut tut tut, If you want your mother to live you got to Zaalheuvel 23 the abandoned Glass factory, but hush hush, if I only think I see a cop you can say shalom to your mother, do we have a deal"

If this was the change to save her mother she had to try "Yes, Zaalheuvel 23 the glass factory, I will be there"

"Well than be quickyou have fifteen minutes" Than the line was dead.

Ziva knew she should tell Gibbs or Tony and wait for back up but her mother did not have that long. She stood up and put her phone next to her mother.

"Ima, you will be okay, I will make sure, I may not return to you but NCIS will find the antidote, Shalom Ima" than she left.

Neorah had wanted to stop Ziva to tell her to first call NCIS but Ziva was gone to quick.

"Gibbs Gibbs" Abby yelled out when Gibbs entered her lab "I found them"

Just after Abby's yell Gibbs phone started to ring it was Ziva "What is wrong Ziva?"

"She is gone"

"Neorah?"

"Ziva she got a call, and left, I think it was Kalam"

"It is okay, hold on we have found them"

* * *

Ziva raced to the factory she was there in ten minutes which seemed to take an eternity.

She ran inside, the first man she found she shot, filled with anger. And a second went by, there came more and more man and her gun was empty, when she wanted to grab her knife they all took there chances and grabbed her. She began to struggle but after a few punches in her stomach, and the feeling of very bruised, maybe broken ribs she stopped. She needed to get the antidote before she could go and kill them she thought.

They dragged her through many large rooms until they stand still when one unlocked the door. They walked in, almost dragging her. They stood on what seemed to be a catwalk, below them there was a large room, the floor seemed to be swimming in diamonds but it had to be glass Ziva thought. The men pushed her to the stairs, one of them was in front of her while the others were behind. They pushed her down the last few steps she landed on her ankle.

They turned her around, she felt that her ankle was sore but not broken. The door was pushed open again. Ziva's eyes grew big, on the beginning of the stairs stood he, Salim.

* * *

**Just a quick question I have asked it before how do you spell Salim did I do it right.**

**A/N It is so cold**

**Review!**


	23. A lighter spot in the dark

**Disclaimer: You know i realize i always forget this, but i don't own nothing, WAIT I do I own Kalem and Neorah**

_**

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**_

Chapter 23- A lighter spot in the dark

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Her world seemed to fall apart, no he could not live it was impossible! She had witnessed him being shot through the head by Gibbs herself. Then she knew that it was not him could not be him, maybe she had known Kalem all along but thought it was Salim.

Slowly with an evil smile on his face he walked down the stairs. Kalem walked right up to her, she did not dare to move, he might not be Salim but seeing him, she got a sick feeling in her stomach.

* * *

"Who was that boss" Tony asked when Mcgee Gibbs and himself were rushing to the car.

Gibbs had not told them, not right after the call, but why not. Maybe simply because he had hoped that the call was fake and they were just getting the operation down, and not having to pray that Ziva did something stupid.

"Neorah called, Ziva is gone"

They were now in the car, Gibbs drove so it was more flying over the road than riding, it was a forty five minute ride, with Gibbs a half hour.

"What to where?" Tony asked, getting a weird feeling in his stomach.

"Apparently Kalam called Ziva, saying he got an antidote"

"But why did Ziva not call us, why did she not stay with her mother"

When Tony asked it he already knew the answer. Because Ziva did not want to watch her mother die, she did not want to see the life leaving her mother's eyes and body. If she would die trying to get an antidote she was fine with it. As long as her mother would live. Even if she would not make it in time to save her mother and die herself to she would not mind. She would not have to live with the loss.

* * *

"Shalom Doll"

His hand went up and he grabbed a stroke of hair putting it behind her ear. His had did not leave her face, it went from behind her ear to her temples. From that point he slowly stroke it down. When he came to her chin he raised his hand and slapped her. Her head turned but she did not turn it back.

When he rose his hand again she feared for the pain that would come with his hand connecting with her face. But that pain never came. Instead of hitting her again, like she expected he turned her head and his mouth came hard on her lips. He forced them open and slid his tong in her mouth. At that moment she wanted to throw up.

Reality came crushing down upon her. She knew where she was what she had to do. When he pulled back she spit in his face, the only thing he did was swap the spit away and laugh.

"I was wondering where my doll was"

**

* * *

**The city flew by them, they saw the factory. Gibbs parked as much in front as they thought was save, and the three of them went inside.

There was no one, it seemed as if they were wrong as if the group was not here. Still they walked on with their guns ready to fire.

* * *

"Where is the antidote Kalam" She spat

"Not so haisty doll" He grabbed a small ampule with a color less substance in it.

"There is something that I want first and that..."

He was broken off by a sound.

* * *

Gibbs Tony and Mcgee all went in, there was one man standing in front of the second door, he drew his gun and they shot. The men fell to the ground.

* * *

He was broken off by a gunshot, he yelled orders to his man who immediately responded. He himself took the gun from his holster and pointed it at Ziva. The man that hold her got the orders to go to the others. There was another gunshot heard, it made Kalem look around at the door. It was then that Ziva made her move, with one hand she grabbed the ampule and with the other she slammed the gun away, which went of. Causing the glass pieces it hit to jump up. This took Kalem not for sweet and he attacked.

* * *

It was not to long before they heard more noise, it sounded as yelling, man these people were a bit of dumb. There had to be at least ten of them. Gibbs looked at Tony one look said it all, get to Ziva make sure she is okay I've got your back.

Mcgee and Gibbs stayed and fired at the men, when most of them were down Gibbs yelled at Mcgee "Tony" And Mcgee understood and took off. Behind Tony. Who was at los to where he was.

* * *

Somewhere in the fight when Kalem kicked Ziva on her weak ankle she fell down. In her fall she let the ampule go. She just hopped that it would not break. When she fell down she felt that her blouse began to rip from the glass on the floor. In the hurry in which she left she had forgotten her coat.

The glass cut in her skin, Kalem was standing over her. He held her down with his legs and arms. He placed one of his legs on her right arm. She tried to kick him but he put so much pressure on her arm that you heard it snap, Ziva cried out in pain.

* * *

They heard a loud scream, and knew which way to go they began to run, Mcgee fast behind Tony, the door from which behind the sound came was visible. **

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**

His next move was to take her head and slammed it on the floor. They kept struggling, after the first slam she tried to roll them over, with her broken arm and pained leg this did not work. She was simply to weak. He only slammed her head again as a respond. It felt as if the glass was breaking while it was pushed into her head. When they moved and the glass under them moved and jumped up. This only caused more glass wounds on Ziva.

By now Kalem had a bloody nose and some bruises. With his body and legs he held her down. While his hands went around her throat. Ziva tried to push him off while her lungs were slowly beginning to burn like fire, while gasping for air. Her good arm was trying to grab something to make him stop. With every breath she tried to take she felt his hands grab her throat harder. She knew that she would be out of air soon.

**They swung the door open and…**

…there were two screams "Federal Agents"

The yell had caused Kalem to look up and only loosen his grip on Ziva for a split second but it was enough. Ziva's hand found a large piece of glass, she lifted both of her hands to the glass, she screamed out in pain because of her broken arm, but she put through. As hard as she could she put the piece of glass in the place of his heart. When she did this the glass cut in her hands and her blood slipped down her arms, fast followed by Kalem's blood. That came streaming out of his body and mangled with hers. Much strength Ziva did not have, when Kalem's strength died He fell on her and the piece of glass entered in her stomach, since he was mostly keeping her legs under control.

Tony and Mcgee run to her, Tony threw Kalem off not knowing that the piece of glass was also in Ziva, who screamed out in pain. Kalem landed next to her, blood slipping from his wounds making the floor dark read.

Mcgee had called an Ambulance, as fast as they had run to Ziva, he hoped they were fast enough. He looked at Kalem certainly death. But he noticed something, the pool of blood became bigger, but there was something sticking up the liquid. And it was not glass it seemed to contain some sort of liquid, he grabbed it not caring there was blood on it and realizing it was the antidote. He looked at the place Ziva lay, Tony bow over her, he heard another pair of footsteps from behind and knew it was Gibbs.

As soon as Kalem was thrown of Ziva Tony had regretted it, he had not known about the piece of glass in her stomach. He had pulled his jacked of and tried to stop the bleeding while he also stroke her hair. Ziva looked at him weakly before closing her eyes. The sirens were audible not too far away; Tony said over and over to her "You are gonne be okay, hold on, hold on"

When her eyes closed it made one single tear roll down her face and slip into the blood, a lighter spot in the dark.

* * *

**Okay so I first decided to stop it somewhere here the whole story, but then my best friend who reads all my story's thought it was to mean so I will go one just a little bit longer.**

** a little spoiler it will not end like you all will think it will. **

**I will give you a hint every chapter till the last, wonder if one of you can guess or the closest guess to what it is, the closest gets a one-shot or YouTube video dedicated to him or her **

**So give me your best guess **

**HINT 1: Stared into the eyes**


	24. Just a woman

CHAPTER 24 – Just a woman

**So here is the next chapter it is a short one but better than nothing right.O and i am also working on getting rid of the grammar and spelling mistakes in the beginning  
**

**So here is the HINT: WATER!**

**Disclaimer: if I owned NCIS do you really think I'd be still writing this story, and not actually making them do it or part of it.**

When the ambulance arrived they dragged Tony away. The team rushed to the hospital behind the ambulance. Mcgee went to a doctor and gave him the bottle and the instructions to ask Neorah's treating doctor. Telling him what it concerned. They rushed to Neorah then it was only waiting.

After almost two hours the doctor to whom Mcgee had given the bottle came back.

"Are you with Neorah David"

"Yes" The team answered.

"Miss David asked for her daughter Ziva David"

The mood changed "She is in surgery now"

"O my" The middle aged doctor said "I suppose I have to tell you then" He took a deep breath "Miss David is dying, she has maybe half an hour left, it was to late for the antidote to work"

Tony stood up. He wanted to be there when Ziva would come back but he had to do this, for Ziva. "I'll see her instead" he said as he walked to the doctor.

When they arrived at Neorah's room he took a breath and walked in.

Neorah's whole skin was so pale that it looked dark from her veins. She could barely keep her eyes open "where?" She asked when she saw it was Tony and not Ziva "Not"

Tony knew she meant Ziva "No, she will be okay. She has to be. She is in surgery right now"

Neorah nodded her breathing became slower by the second "take care of her"

Tony saw the life dripping away from her. Just before she blew out her last breath Tony grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I will, I promise I will. You can let go now, I'll love and protect her with all I have in me" that was all Neorah needed to hear, to hear that her daughter would be okay, and that it was okay for her to let go . He saw her eyes close and the last light of life disappear from them.

He looked at the woman in front of him. The mother of the love of his life, but still just a woman. A strong woman, a woman captured for almost a life time, but faithfull to her daughter. A woman who caused her daughter so much pain and torture, the same woman that made that her daughter lit up when she smiled or laughed. A woman that had just walked into their life's and won all of their hearts. A woman who had fought the last days of her life. A woman that was maybe better off in heaven. Made free from the pain and suffering, a woman he would always see when looking at Ziva, a woman who made him see his world through other eyes, a woman that had made him strong enough to go to the one he loved and tell her that. That was the woman he saw in front of him, the woman he would always carry in his heart and memory.

But no one can avoid death when their time has come not even this woman. Even though she was all that he had just thought

She was _just _a woman, after all.

**So I Repeat the HINT: WATER**

**BREAKING NEWS: after I have finished this story and "Trapped in Hell" I have already another planned, I have even began to write it already so I'll let you read a little part of it when you review!**

**So REVIEW**


	25. Wake up

**And here is another chapter, OKAY to clarify something**

**When you are reading how Ziva wakes up it is actually how I woke up after my operation, if you read the part about the voices you may think it is weird but it is truly how I woke up, so I wrote it from my point and my memory **

_**CHAPTER 25 - Wake up**_

When he came back to the others Abby threw herself into Mcgee crying, for the mother of her best friend. Mcgee comforted Abby, Duck only said a soft "May she rest in peace" Gibbs only looked at Tony who was now thinking how to tell Ziva.

Ziva, she was still in surgery, the hours past by. They were waiting for over six hours now when finally a doctor came.

"Who of you is Anthony Dinozzo?"

Tony was dreading what the doctor had to say, he used the same voice like the doctor of Neorah had done.

"We are also her family" Abby said

"Sorry Miss, I really need to talk to Mister Dinozzo alone"

Tony feared for the worse when the doctor had said that. None the less he walked to the doctor. "Why did you want to speak to me alone doc?" Tony asked

"Mister Dinozzo I assume?" Tony nodded "Miss David has not woken up yet, she will within the next two hours"

"Thank god, Why did you need to tell this me alone, that is good news"

"On the contact formula you were written down as significant other

"That is correct"

The doctor motioned for Tony to follow him what he did when they were on a other floor he stopped, there was no one, only a empty hallway, and some empty chairs "She has a broken arm, a sprain ankle, three bruised ribs, a severe concussion, but that is all very treatable " He sighed "That was not why I wanted to talk to you alone sir. She lost it"

"What? Lost what? Her memory, her sight, what?"

"You did not know?"

"Know what?" Tony was getting a bit fed up inside why wouldn't the damn doctor just bring him to Ziva.

"She _was _pregnant sir, two months_"_

Tony's mind went to two months ago, it had to be when he just came from the hospital that night, the only thing Tony could think of was to just nod

"I'll take you to her room; I'll tell your family where you are. It is best if there is only one visiter with her until she has woken up"

Tony barely heard the doctor his mind was spinning like crazy.

She was pregnant, with his child, he had not ever known and now it was gone.

There he stood in front of her room, he took a breath and walked in. He was hit by the sterile smell of the hospital that seemed to linger in her room more than anywhere ells.

There was a cast around her arm that lay above the blankets. Her head was almost swimming in white bandages. There were also bandages that he could not see but knew there were, like the one around her ankle and the one round her back and stomach. Where now no life was, except Ziva's own. There was an IV in her good hand plus a clip from the heart monitor, also a oxygen mask on her face, it made it almost impossible to see her face. Her eyes were closed, she looked asleep but not at peace.

The only thing that reminded Tony she was still alive was the steady beeps from the monitor. He sat down next to her and softly touched her fingers, letting her know she was not alone.

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Ziva's POV

I fell if i am floating somewhere.

"Ziva"

"Ziva David, Ziva David"

"Wake up Ziva"

The voice a female voice, like my sisters or my mothers, who is calling me.i feel like floating again.

The next thing I know is that it is very light, I try to swallow but it seems that my saliva is too thick to swallow. It panics me, because it feels like i am suffocating. I try to open my eyes, but squint against the light. When they are finally open the time seems to stop for a while, i only see Tony's face shortly. and then at once i just start to cry. I cannot hold them back even though i want to. Only then i began to feel the pain, my arm, my ribs, my back, my head, my ankle, my stomach... O god my stomach.

* * *

Third Person POV

Slowly Ziva's eyelids began to move. The moment she had opened them Tony had pressed the call button. He looked at her he saw the pain and she started to cry. Just cry.

"Ziva, shhh it us okay, stay calm a nurse is coming"

The nurse removed the oxygen mask, and a bowl to spit in, then she checked her vitals and gave her some ice water to drink very slowly, then she gave her a morphine injection. With that Ziva felt that the pain slowly crept away but the empty feeling in her stomach did not leave, it seemed even more present, and she was ashamed.

"Ziva" Tony said when the nurse was gone, he tried to lay his hand on her shoulder but she flinched away.

"Don't touch me" Ziva said hoarse

"Zi what's wrong"

Ziva closed her eyes; he had the right to know. "You would have become a father Tony, but now"

"I know Zi, and i am sorry. Why did you not tell me?"

"Ziva looked at him with tired glassy eyes "I was afraid if you knew that you would leave, walk away"

"Ziva never ever think that again, baby or not I love you and I would have loved our baby to""

"It is my fault I lost it" she whispered

"No Zi, this is Kalem's fault, not yours"

Tony wanted to wrap her in his arms but she stopped him.

"I just...I need...go"

Tony nodded "I'll be right outside the door Call me if you need me"

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**I told you the part of her waking up was a bit strange, anyone with me on the weird waking up from a operation?**

**O yeah I want to thank those of you who do review, you make my day,**

**Lots of hugs for you,**

**O yeah and a HINT someone got it right, I he or she reviews again I comment to you that you had it right i kind of forgot who it was but anyway i want you all to keep guessing and be more specific. **

**HINT: Breath of air  
**


	26. Tears

CHAPTER 26 - Tears

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**Okay this is a real shorty, but in the next chapter I will have skipped a bit of time**

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When Tony returned in the room Ziva was already asleep. The doctor had told him the team would come first thing tomorrow.

Ziva was awake but had not spoken much, Tony did not like it but knew it was her way of coping.

In her mind she was having a battle with herself. Tony had said it was not her fault their baby was dead but it was. She was so worried about her mother she had not taken care of herself or the baby, she had been so tired and scared she had not thought twice when the call had come, something she should have done, there were so many things she should have done different.

When Abby Mcgee Gibbs and Ducky came in Abby wanted to jump on Ziva, but Tony stopped her and told her to be careful. So instead of crushing Ziva with a hug she just grabbed her fingers tightly.

Ziva looked around and spoke the words everyone feared,

"Where is my mother?"

Everyone looked at each other, and then at Tony, Gibbs motioned for them to go so Tony could explain.

"Why did everyone leave, I had the antidote is she still in the hospital?"

"Zi listen to me" How would he tell her he remembered the sight off her when he saw her in the waiting room, waiting for news on her mother the first time. She had looked so fragile, so small and little. Someone needed to tell her

"Your mother she" he sighed, he saw the eyes of Neorah in his mind, on the point where you could not clearly tell if she was dead or barley living. "She is dead"

It seemed as if the room became smaller, if she was going half deaf "What but…"

"I am so sorry Zi, when you were in surgery she had asked for you"

"She died, alone she…"

"No. No not alone, I was with her Ziva, she was not alone"

Then was the point that Ziva broke down, she cried for her mother, who she had tried to save but was to late.

Tony put his arm around her neck, and squeezing her fingers since he could not touch her otherwise or she would be hurt.

Ziva cried for their baby that had died when she tried to save her mother.

The cries became stronger and turned into almost screams of pain, and hurt, there were words sobbed through the cries "Why?" "Noo please"

When Tony was holding her the tears he had held up inside when Neorah had died as good as in his arms started to fall.

The cries carried all the way to the hall way since the door had been open. At the sound of Ziva's heartbroken cries, and smaller sobs the team could not hold it in any longer.

Abby, who had just stopped with crying started again, now her eyes were clear of makeup the tears that streamed down were cleaning the black stripes that were on her cheeks.

Mcgee's eyes first became foggy, his eyes were so full of tears that one fell down. Making a slow path down his cheek, falling into abby's hair.

Ducky whipped the tears away with a handkerchief before they could fall.

Gibbs eyes became full of tears but did not let them fall.

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**Review!1**

**o YEAH on a happier note,  
**

Zivarocks44

**Has guessed right what is about to come, it may come a little earlier than i have planned i think in the next chapter.**

**

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Note to Zivarocks44: Start to think what you would like to see when this story is over, as i have said the one who guesses it right gets a YouTube vid or Fanfiction one-shot dedicated to him/her. So which one do you want,  
**


	27. I have

CHAPTER 27 - I have

The days flew by numbly. Since Tony had told Ziva about her mother she had not spoke much. But it was becoming better, she eat and drunk normal. And at the beginning of this week she had begun to speak longer sentences and sometimes one or two out of herself. In the beginning she only spoke if you asked her a direct question.

Today was the day that Ziva was allowed to come home, after two and a half weeks in the hospital. The release papers were singed and Ziva was allowed to go home.

She still had the cast around her arm it could come off after more weeks, the stitches in her head, stomach would be removed after a week. It all had healed nicely.

At home, Tony put Ziva on the couch sat down next to her, for the rest of the day they just watched movies.

While they were watching both their thoughts were somewhere ells.

Tony was a mix of different emotions. He was happy that Ziva was okay and healing well, he was sad for the woman he had seen die, for the child he had not known about before it was dead. And with the pain of the dead he was also angry, at Ziva, she had not told him, that was not the worse she had not thought about their baby, still, he knew she was a wreck because her mother, and that it was not Ziva's choise to get it killed.

When they lay next to each other in bed, the only light that was there was from the moon, okay maybe also a few street lanterns but that was not the point. Ziva spoke up softly.

"Tony?"

"Yeah" he softly replayed.

"I am sorry"

"For what?" He now turned so he was facing her. He saw the pain in her eyes

"For everything"

"Ziv, I told you that"

"Please listen" she closed her eyes for a little while then opened them again and they were filled with tears "You keep saying it is not my fault, it may not be my fault my mother is" she did not dare to speak the words but she knew he understood. "But it is my fault our baby is dead. I should have thought about it, taken better care of myself, if I had not gone to that factory then…my mother died anyway and…it is just my fault please forgive me, please"

She looked at Tony, if he would not forgive her she would understand. He said nothing for a while slowly processing what she had said.

It was true It was her fault. But the past was the past it could not be changed, it did not matter anymore, the memory of it would always stay with them but it mattered most how they lived there life now. He whipped a tear that had fallen from her cheek away and whispered.

"I have Ziva, I have"

With her hand she kept his on her cheek. And like that they fell asleep

**Okay I had actually planned that this would be the chapter where all the bad things would happen but this popped in my mind and I thought ah well**


	28. Numb

**CHAPTER 28**** - numb**

The weeks had past faster than the ones before. Ziva was as good as could be expected, the cast was from her arm she now only had a support bandage around her arm. The wounds on her head stomach and back had healed nicely. She was allowed to go into the water with them only not to hot. She was still at home because Gibbs wanted to be better safe than sorry, so she had to stay at home, at least till she was able to run and stay awake for a whole day.

Tony had began to work again. On the day Abby, Ducky or even Palmer would keep Ziva company. Gibbs would let Tony of early so he could be with Ziva. Today was a day that Palmer would be with Ziva.

Normally Palmer did barley talk, he would bring break fest or lunch and would just sit with her, and little did they both know that today would be different.

When Jimmy knocked on the door there was no sound, for a while it stayed silent then the door was slowly opened by Ziva. She had tried to hide the tears, but Jimmy could still see that her eyes were red. He did not know what to say so he just held the bag of lunch up in the air. Ziva stepped aside and Jimmy stepped in.

They ate in silence, Jimmy could see that Ziva was still broken inside, maybe more than when he had seen her in the hospital. He had talked with Tony, who thought it was going better but for some reason Jimmy thought that Tony did not want to see the pain, not want to see the hurt. But Jimmy found Ziva just a bit too scary to say anything about it.

The tv was on and just as normally they both just watched and not really watched at the same time. Jimmy kept wondering if it really had gone worse with Ziva.

Ziva on her own was messed up inside. She knew that things were suppose to be better, that they were suppose to live like they would die tomorrow, but maybe that was the point. The last event had made the bucket stream over. One drop too much. She had been surrounded with death and torture her whole live, and it had slowly build. The point was that the live as if you die tomorrow, that point of dying tomorrow had come a little too much. She could have died in the factory, with her mother with her unborn child. But something had made her survive. Ziva did not know if that thing had made the right choice maybe it would be better if she was gone, if she ended herself. But she also knew that

Numbly she took the glasses from the table and walked to the kitchen.

The TV was loud but Jimmy could hear the crash.

Ziva POV

I take the two glasses to the kitchen. When I have just reached the kitchen, it seems as if just for a moment the world around me jumps out. Just as you see when you throw a rock in the water, the water goes first in before it comes out again. In that short moment I lose all the control about my body.

He hastily runs to the kitchen. There he saw what had caused the crash. Ziva had let the glasses drop. And had tried to pick them up but had only cut in her hand. While the blood slowly turned her whole hand red she just looked at it. And that was the moment Jimmy Palmer overcame his fear for Ziva. Ziva was his friend and she needed him.

He walked to her and put both of his hands on her shoulders to help her up. He walked with her to the bathroom and started to clean the wound. It was not very deep, but deep enough to bleed rather hard. He put a bandage around it and lead her back to the couch. He muted the TV and sat so that he could see her face.

It was then that Ziva started to cry, the tears floated out of her eyes. She looked up and met Jimmy's eyes.

"Jimmy, how could he forgive me after all I have done"

Jimmy did something he thought he never would, he leaned forward and put his arm around Ziva, who lay her head down on his shoulder which surprised him. He knew exactly what to say at that moment. No stupid comments, or inappropriate jokes.

"Ziva, he can forgive you because he loves you"

"But I killed our baby"

Tony and Ziva had not told anyone about the baby, though ducky and Palmer had suspected something like this, they were after al partly medical examiners.

"I killed our baby to save my mother, and I did not even save her"

"Ziva look at me" Jimmy said determent to make her see a lighter spot in the dark. "That may have happened but it is in the past, I know it still hurts but it will move to the back ground in a while. Believe me"

"I know the pain will less but I do not understand how Tony can forgive me, love me"

"Like I told you before, he loves you. When I found out that Michelle Lee had lied to me, yes I was angry and hurt. But I still loved her, because she may have made a mistake but _she _was still the same. Tony still can and does love you because he knows how much it hurt when your mother got ill. He knows how much of a hell you went through, but above all he knows you have a future together, maybe this baby died but as long as you are together it should not mean it is the last one. Tony sees you, and only you, he loves you, not for the things you have done right, or for your mistakes but for you, for what is inside of you"

That started a new wave of tears that Ziva let go. Jimmy did not push her away, he just held her. Not as Tony would or Abby, or even Gibbs. In his own way, and Ziva loved him for it, because he was him he was being Jimmy, a little different than normally, but it was than when she knew his words were true. She may not be in love with Palmer no absolutely not but she loved him for who he _is. _Not the person that is the weird autopsy gremlin, not the one that makes the wrong comments at the wrong time. But the person that would give everything he had if needed for a friend. And she saw that it was his inside that made her love him.

Just before she fell asleep in his arms tired of the tears she whispered.

"Thank you Jimmy, I love you"

**I placed Jimmy Palmer in this chapter because he is absolutely adorable and I think he is better friends with the team than the team wants to admit. ****Okay and I know it is a little OOC but he is soo sweeeeeeet :P. And the line Ziva thinks I have also used in my story A children's laugh but I liked it.**

**REVIEW!  
**


	29. Hurts like hell

**Okay just to say, the "I love you" what Ziva said in the last chapter was purely a friendship I love you. Who ells thinks that Jimmy is really cute *raises hand* okay enough for the Little jimmy crush, on with the story.**

**The story is _almost_ till an end *snif* **

**

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**CHAPTER 29****- Hurts Like Hell

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When Tony had come home that day from work, he had expected Jimmy to be long gone, and Ziva tossing and turning in their bed, but that was not what Tony saw when he arrived.

He opened the door and walked to the couch, there he saw Jimmy still sitting on the couch and Ziva in his arms. At the sound of Tony standing in front of him Jimmy looked up. He nodded at Tony, who walked forward and picked Ziva up and carried her to the bed room. When he came back Jimmy had pulled on his coat and was ready to leave.

Tony turned to him and said "Thank you"

With a last nod Jimmy opened the door and had left.

Tony was thankful that Jimmy had stayed, and that Ziva trusted him enough. In the time that Gibbs had been away to Mexico Jimmy and Tony had grown closer to good friends. Ziva did not sleep well since she had come back from the hospital and Tony was glad she at least had slept normally now.

Tony had crawled into bed next to Ziva and had softly stroke her hair. He had seen the fallen glass in the garbage and also the bandage around her hand. He was glad it had been Jimmy who had been with her, because if it had been Abby she would have freaked out.

The next day he had wanted to ask Ziva what exactly had happened. But when he had begun about it she had just simply smiled at him weakly and walked to another room.

When Tony sat on the couch watching movies Ziva sat in the windowsill looking outside. Tony was wondering what went on inside her head but was also wondering if he really wanted to know. Because somewhere inside him he feared for what would come out if he pushed her.

The days seemed to pass quicker, less exhausting and more filled with joy. Everyone had not forgotten what had happened. And since they all knew Ziva and Tony they knew they had not moved on. Well not completely at least. They knew Tony did joke his way out of it and Ziva just suppressed it. That was why Ducky was surprised that Tony had turned up at autopsy.

He had told Ducky everything and it had lightened his heart. He had even told Ziva that he had talked with Ducky. From that point on everything seemed to go even better than before. And every one believed it, even Tony and Gibbs did. The most of the week Ziva was alone now. She seemed to do better on the outside but no one knew what was going on in her head and maybe it was best they did not know.

Just like often the last week Ziva sat in the windowsill and was thinking.

She kept seeing her mother's face in front of her eyes. Sometimes she was day dreaming, more of a day-nightmare. She would see the things from a distance; she would see herself with a newborn in her arms. But after a few moments the baby always stopped moving, stopped crying and making sounds and slowly it would turn pale. That was always the moment she was being brought back to reality. Ziva also had thoughts she was wondering why she had them.

She did not want to feel anymore, she felt like she was nothing anymore, she did not want to feel this low anymore. Actually not feel at all. Because life was too painful. Because of Jimmy she had understand why Tony had forgiven her, and the pain she felt that it would go away that it would lessen. But Ziva knew it would not. Because with her mother's dead all the pain from the past had come back, all her mistakes. Ari, Tali, her best friend Chémy, they had all been her fault and her mother was added to that mix. Never had see been allowed to cry for them, they had been put away in a deep and dark corner of her mind, and had now crept to the front. Life hurt like hell…

Suddenly she was woken from her thoughts by a big and hard thunder that had come as suddenly as the thoughts. Then the rain began. It rained like it had never done before. Ziva opened the window to the outside and kept sitting in the windowsill. Some of the rain hit her face it was cool and icy at the same time.

She looked down, the street below her was empty at once, the last few people run for shelter. Ziva swept her legs out the window, almost immediately they were soaking wet but she did not care. Her hands grabbed the sides of the window and slowly she pulled herself up by them. It was like hanging above a cliff. Her just healed arm screamed from the heavy work it had to do but she ignored it.

What if she just threw herself off? Yes it would hurt like hell when she landed but then the hell of life would be over. She had the same flash she had when she dropped the glasses, the world jumped out and in again. In that second her wet hands became very slippery and if at that moment when the flash was over her cell phone would not have ringed she would have fallen. Her arms let go of the window and she sat still with her legs outside in the windowsill, she picked up.

"Ziva"

"Hey sweet cheeks, I just called to tell you I am on my way home"

"okay, love you"

"Love you, bye"

She looked outside again, her hands now only reaching out to touch the rain. It was raining so hard that even her hair was wet. After another ten minutes she closed the window. It would have been a long way down and it would have hurt like hell.

She had dried herself of before Tony had entered the house. Only she and the rain knew what happened and they would be the only ones to ever know.

Ziva had lay curled up against Tony at the couch. She was about to get up and go to bed when another flash came. Tony looked concerned.

"Are you okay?"

For a moment she wondered if she should tell him what had happened today. She had felt a short pang of fear when she had said there. Ziva decided it was best not to tell him because fear you spoke up about would become more then fear, it could come true. So she decided not to tell him.

"Yeah I am fine just tired"

When she lay in their bed she had opened the window. It was still raining and thundering, it Sheppard her from silence, because with the silence the thoughts would come back, the thoughts that she did not want to feel.

Tony had come to bed not much later than Ziva, he saw the window open and went to close it. He did not know that Ziva had opened it on purpose.

The next day came too soon, for both of them. Tony got out of bed thinking that Ziva was still asleep, but she was not.

When the morning had come Ziva felt already dead, just as if she could not breathe normally anymore. Tony was drinking his coffee in the kitchen when Ziva came to him. In the hall way her world flashed again. When she entered the kitchen she had painted a smile on her face, let him believe the world was good and peaceful when it was not. Because it hurt like hell.

Tony had left and Ziva was alone once again, today was another day she knew no one would come. She took her place in the windowsill and thoughts began to cloud her mind.

For the outside world everything seemed perfect, even for Tony, and she even wanted to believe it herself, but it was far from true. She had made them believe that it was perfect or at least fine, but they were all lies, lies that her friends her family had to believe to be happy. They did not see how she really felt, and maybe that was a good thing

How time could fly so fast she did not know but it was at least 5 o'clock now. And the thoughts she did not want to feel anymore had not left her head only turned stronger.

The sun had begun to set; little did she know that Gibbs had just ordered Tony to go home. And that he would be home in about 20 minutes.

She walked to the bathroom and let the water fill the bathtub. The only thing she pulled out was the bands that hold her hair into a ponytail, and her socks. When she looked back up again she cached her own face in the mirror. But it did not see the bathroom behind her. It was dark; she thought she could see the inside of a car. Another flash. A tear left her eye.

Ziva turned the water of. The tube was now filled to the top. Slowly she lowered herself in the water, and was met by the ice cold water. Goosebumps run up her whole skin but she could not care less. Another flash.

This was Ziva alone, her mask had fallen, and the pain came out. Ziva slowly let go of the sides of the tube. More water spilled over and came onto the floor. Her cloths had became wet, and slowly turned darker cause of the water, and turned heavy. Slowly she let her head go underwater. First her hair became wet and with her eyes closed the rest of her face followed. She opened her eyes but was not met with the light of the bathroom, she was not even in the tube anymore. No she was met by dark water; in front of her it was weakly lightened. Lightened by the lights of her car.

That was when she knew it, the truth, she had never left the car, the flashes were from her lack of air. She had been in a dream if only for a second, but it did not matter, because in one dream ages could pass. She had been trapped inside herself for a long yet short time. She had never found her mother, never lost her baby, never told Tony she loved him, she had herself fooled if only for a few seconds, which seemed almost a year. At that moment she wanted to be saved, she wanted to live, to tell everyone she loved them, to tell Tony she loved him, even if she had to endure all the pain again, she wanted to be saved.

Then suddenly there was a figure in front of her, it was a man that stared into her eyes. And she left for her dream world again.

The tube, which was where she was once again. The lights of her bathroom above her, she thought she heard a door open and someone run in. It was Tony he saw the light of the bathroom on and thought he heard water spill on the floor.

The moment that Tony was above the tube that was when Ziva looked into the eyes of the strange man who turned into Tony. She felt herself being pulled up, but knew it was just a dream. And with the last thing she had in her she said "I love you Tony" Though it seemed more like a single bubble to the man.

In her dream world the lights went out, just as in her real world, and the last thing she saw were Tony's eyes, though that was only just a dream.

Finally he could hear the sirens of the ambulance, with another breath he got back to the car. By the pressure of the water there was a crack in the window. He slammed at it and it broke. He took the woman and got her to the surface.

He checked if the woman was breathing which she was not. He began CPR, but when the ambulances came he knew it was too late. Ten minutes had passed and she had not woken up, he knew the woman was dead.

What he did not know was that the woman, from the inside almost still a girl was saved from a world full of pain, hate and heartbreak. This girl was saved by the salvation of death, saved from the hell of life.

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**Yes in this chapter I have put a few music lyrics from Evanescence- Everybody's fool, listening to it the whole time I wrote this chapter.**** And don't worry there is still one last chapter. **

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**Review!**


	30. Saved from a life that would have hurt

**The last chapter SNIF, thank you all to stick with me through this whole thing, more explained at the end of the chapter**

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**CHAPTER 30**** Saved from a life that would have hurt like hell**

When the team got the call from the hospital to come there as quick as possible they were worried. With the whole team they had gone to the hospital. Only to hear the heart breaking news that Ziva David was dead.

Everyone had their own thoughts, but most of all Tony hated himself for not ever telling Ziva how he felt.

The next hard thing to do was call director David, when the whole team was in MTAC they were surprised to see that Ziva's fathers had tears in his eyes. He made sure that Ziva would receive a Jewish burial next to her sister, and that the team would be flown over to Israel.

Ever thing went as good as it could go. They were flown to Israel the next day, tomorrow just round sunset Ziva would be buried.

Neither one of them had stopped crying; even Gibbs had constant tears in his eyes. With the loss of Kate they had thought that it would not be worse would something like that ever happen again but it was. It was Kate ten times over.

They all had had their last look at Ziva early in the morning, they past a devastated Eli David. Why was it that people only could see what they had done wrong to someone when that someone was dead or dying.

They all thought she looked like an angel even in the simple tachrichim in which she was dressed. She looked beautiful, like a fallen angel.

They all had gone in separately to say their goodbyes. The first one was Ducky, he told Ziva to be safe where ever she was, and that they would think of her, and never forget her memory. Next was Gibbs

"You were always like a daughter to me Ziver" more words did not came out of his mouth, when he went outside he passed the team.

Mcgee went after Gibbs, leaving Abby to the arms of Tony.

Mcgee stood a little awkward next to the coffin where Ziva lay, she lay so still, so not like Ziva.

"I thought that after Kate I never had to see another sister lay so still, but now I do. I promise I will help Tony move on. I mean you guys were made for each other, I even wrote a book about it and I know how much you would hate it to see him slip away for hanging in the past. Guess this is goodbye, yes, well, I'll remember you Ziva"

Abby walked when Mcgee passed them, for a while she just stared at the dead body of Ziva. She could not the words out loud, because if she did it would be all too real. She just closed her eyes and walked away. Saying she loved Ziva over and over in her head, knowing that Ziva would hear them it they were spoken or not.

The hardest one was Tony, he walked in, at first he did not dare to look at her. This was not how it was meant to be. If he only had acted earlier, this would not be happening. When he looked at her the tears in his eyes started to fall.

"I am so sorry Ziva I should have told you before, I do not know why I never did and" He took a breath "I love you, I have from the moment we've met, and I would do everything to get you back"

"_I know_"

That voice that sweet voice was hers tony spun around and he saw her. She seemed to glow. A white dress was neatly following her curves, her hair dangled from her shoulders.

"Ziva I am"

"_Don't be, you have to keep on living, for me Tony_"

"I can't without you"

"_It is okay Tony, I would rather be with you but I am happy here Tony, really. And I am sorry I never told you before, but I love you, with all my heart, even if it is not beating right now, I do Tony never forget_"

"I cannot live without you Zi, I love you too much"

_"Yes you can Tony, I promise you one day, you'll be here too. For now you have to live the life you have before you, I will always be here, waiting for you, waiting for us to be together"_

"okay I promise, I'll live for you Zi, I love you_"_

"_I love you to Tony, I will be looking down upon you, if you keep remembering me I will always be with you, until we are together for real, goodbye Anthony Dinozzo"_

And with that she disappeared. Tony walked out the door; he retrieved himself in his room until it was time to go.

Round sunset they got to the graveyard. The team and Director David had all black ripped of ribbons bound round their arms. They all saw Ziva's friends and family, already standing by the grave. Together with two child hood friends, an uncle and a nephew, Tony and McGee carried her coffin to the grave.

Before the Rabbi began to speak Ducky was asked to the front. It was not a normal Jewish tradition but Eli David would know one thing, Ziva would have liked her family there, her real family not him, and she would have liked that they would have spoken, even if it was brief. When Donald Mallard started his poem, Eli got tears in his eyes, it was no tradition but at the tone of voice and the faces from her family Eli could finally see why Ziva had wanted to stay in America. Why she loved them and had opened up to them. Because each of them loved her back just as much even possible more.

Ducky's words rang through the silence cemetery where the sun was setting.

"_I can almost see you smile  
In the shadows of my mind,  
Bringing to me the peace  
I have struggled so hard to find. _

_I can almost hear your voice  
Telling me "Be not saddened nor afraid,  
Just remember all the good,  
How we loved and laughed and played". _

_I can almost feel your touch  
whipping away my every tear  
as I stand among my shattered dreams  
letting me know you are still near. _

_I can almost hear you say,  
"One day, you'll be here too.  
Live the life you have before you  
for I will be here, waiting to welcome you". _

_We thought of you with love today,  
But that is nothing new. _

_We thought about you yesterday,  
And the days before that, too. _

_We think of you in silence.  
We often speak your name. Now all we have is memories,  
And your picture in a frame. _

_Your memory is our keepsake,  
With which we'll never part. God has you in His Keeping.  
We have you in our Heart"_

At the end everyone had tears in their eyes. The rabbi took over and said the traditional prayer. Every one walked to the grave in which the coffin lay. And all put a few hands of dirt on the coffin which was now in the grave. After that they said their condolences to Eli. After that they washed their hands as respect for the dead, the sun had just reached the earth and was slowly being buried in the ground just like Ziva. And Gibbs, Ducky, Eli, Tony, Abby and Mcgee understood why the only thing Ziva had ever let written up about her burial was that it had to be with sunset. Because when the sun touched the earth, it was a moment of peace, the moment where you saw the life below and the eternal starry sky above.

Eli David walked to them.

"I must apologize" he said, the whole team stopped with getting in and stood beside one another, all touching or holding hands.

"I have never seen why Ziva was so fond of you, I must admit that I thought she was a disgrace when she spoke of you as family but now I can see you are her family, something I have never been. For that I thank you, for the time that Ziva was with you, you have given her so much that I could not"

The team nodded and to everyone's surprise Abby walked to him and gave him a hug. When she let him go they saw that a tear had made his way down Eli's cheek. They got in the cars but Eli stopped Tony.

"I have never done right for my daughter, but I know that she wanted you to have this. She had left it behind when she went to Somalia, but even though I thought she was dead, then I was not to fond of you all so I never send it. She left to one for you and one for her family"

Tony took the two envelopes.

"And I believe she would have wanted you to have this"

With that they said their goodbye's Tony got in the car, holding Ziva's Star of David necklace tightly in his hand. They left for DC together, as a family, and they would keep Ziva's memory alive, because Ducky's words had been true she would always be in their hearts.

And Tony also knew that Ziva's words had been true, he would see her again, she would never be gone, not completely.

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What no one had known was that the whole time a woman was present behind a tree. No one saw her but she had the same hair and dark brown eyes as the woman they were burring. Full of tears. This was the woman who had escaped to late, who now saw the reason for her survive lay in the ground. She also saw the people that were standing around her daughter's coffin. People that were sad, even from the distance she could see that those people had loved her. She heard the footsteps beside her, and knew the pain that would take her over, that they had found her sooner than she thought. And she was right within moments she was gone from the world, to her daughter.

The first thing she saw was a girl, a young man and a young woman, her children and then she realized that it had been best that her daughter had died.

They may not have been together living but they were together in heaven. And when she had given Ari and Tali a warm embrace and had now her little darling her princess Ziva in her arms she knew it was true that Ziva had left so many that loved her behind but she had been spared from the pain of life, she had been spared from all the pain the world could and would have caused her. She was safe here, up in heaven, spared from a life that would have hurt like hell.

**And there it is the ending of the story, I hope you are not to pissed of at me how I have ended the story, but something in me told me that it was just the way this story had to go. Someday I will write a one-shot about the letters Ziva left the team but for now this was the last part of the puzzle, the final lines of the story.**

**Thank you guys for sticking with me the whole story, and very thanks to the ones who reviewed this story, I hope you give me one last review and tell me what you thought of the whole story in general. Only don't say anything about the bad grammar and spelling in the beginning I am working on fixing it now the story is finished. **

**Please vote on the poll for my new story, when that story will be up i'll post an author note, with probably the letters Ziva wrote  
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**REVIEW, please :P *has puppy eyes*  
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	31. Letters

**Chapter 31- Letters**

When the team had entered the plane Tony was still holding the letters and Ziva's necklace in his hand grabbing it tightly. With them in his hands he fell asleep the whole flight he slept.

The team gathered that night in the house of Gibbs. It was then that Tony gave the letter that was meant for the team to Ducky. Who opened it and started to read.

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"_Dear Family,_

_This is my goodbye to you, the last thing you will ever see of me, for that I am sorry._

_I had hoped that if this day would come we broke up another way. For the past few years you have been more than just co-workers for me, you have shown me that I am not the killer everyone says I am, you have thought me how to love. _

_What I did to repay you was wrong, I have not know until the moment that I am writing this that you were always there for me, supported me, and let me in your family. Even though it was my brother who had caused you so much pain, I have put you all through hell._

_For believing my father's lies for believing everything I was told by my people, while all you ever did was being there for me"

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While Ducky was reading it Tony noticed that Ziva did not blame them not blamed him, never really did, when she stayed behind she was letting them go, letting them go on with their lives, because she knew she would have teared them apart if she had stayed at that moment.

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"_You were my family, you still are, I hope that you forgive me, for hurting you. I needed to stay behind, I want you all to live your lives as if I had been with you, and ask you for forgiveness. Even if you forgive me, I cannot return to you, not even to look one last time at my family, the ones I hold in my heart. Right now it is an hour before I have to leave, the mission is not important but it will be my last. If you forgive me for the pain and hell I put on you I will see you all when the time has come for you to let your lives go. Be safe and happy._

_As last I wish to say something to each of you apart:_

_**To Mcgee**__; Do not let my departure affect you to much, finish your book, and get the happy ending you wanted to write, you know the one you told me when we were sitting in the park maybe three months ago. Get that happy ending for you deserve it. _

_**To Abby: **__I know you must be angry with me, but please do not be. I know that me leaving brings back memories of Kate for that I am sorry, but as I will go on my last mission I will keep you in mind, your craziness and the way of always finding a solution. Also do not be sad, it would kill me to not hear music coming from your lab, or to not see you jumping up and down when new evidence comes in, just be yourself, the crazy happy Goth who I have learned to love _

_**To Ducky: **__Keep telling the story's you did to me to the team. Help them move on because I know they will stay stuck in the past for too long. Tell them with the passion with which you told them to me, they always made me laugh and feel loved_

_**To Gibbs: **__I thank you that you let me go, that you left me behind, because now I can see what I had, that I was lucky to have you all. I will take care of myself, I promise. Do you remember when I walked down the stairs, when you looked at me, I know that with that one looked you knew me; you saw who I was and trusted me, became a father to me. Until the day of today I am still thankful you never told anyone but now it is time to tell. I cannot do it myself but they have the right to know._

_With this I will leave you with your lives, I want you all to remember me by the good memories not the bad, because I will remember you that way. I hold you in my heart until it will stop beating, but I know, I hope I will see you again,_

_I love you all,_

_Ziva _"

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After reading it everyone had tears in their eyes. Mcgee was the first one to speak

"Boss what did she mean it is time to tell"

Gibbs sighed "To tell you what really happened the night Ari Haswari died"

The whole team looked at him and waited for him to speak.

"I know you all have doubted and questioned my affection for Ziva, it is because that night she saved my life, if she had not been their it would not be Ari but me who would have died. Because I did not kill Ari, Ziva did "

The team was silent, Abby started to cry harder and mumbled things like why didn't she tell us.

With the words Gibbs had spoken still in his head Tony run outside. He needed to get away. When he stopped running he saw he had come to a halt at the lake where Ziva and him had walked in the summer when Gibbs had been gone. How could he have been so stupid to question where Ziva's loyalty's lay.

At that moment he also remembered the letter from Ziva he still had to read. He opened it and becan to read.

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"_Dear Tony,_

_By now I know Gibbs has told you about Ari, that I was I who shot him. How I know you did not read this letter earlier? Because I know you Tony, I know you better then I know myself, just like you know me better than you know you. I do not want you to be sorry for questioning my loyalty, because at the moment you asked me about it I did not know where it lay. But the point is now I do. It lays with all of you, if only I could have seen it sooner._

_That is not why I wrote you this letter, and not write it with the other one. I write you this letter because I need to tell you something, I now wish I could tell to your face, to see your eyes, who always told me what you were feeling and always made me forget all the things I had done, and what everyone expected from me. I never have been myself in front of anyone, but you Tony, you knew the real me. The Ziva I have not shown to anyone but my Mother and Tali. Because you made me feel special, let me feel me. Not the daughter of the director of Mossad, not the sister to a murdered, not the perfect weapon for daddy, not the emotionless ex-assassin everyone thought I was. No, you let me see me, just me, just Ziva, what I wanted to say was that you made me see something that no one ell could have done. _

_At the moment that I watched that plane fly away I knew it, it is now to late but I need to tell you this:_

_I love you Tony_

_And I am sorry I am the one to break your trust, forgive me if you can, but do not stay haning in the past, live on. Just remember that I love you, and somehow I will always be with you._

_I love you_

_Ziva_"

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**So this was the final end of the story I want to thank all of the reviewers to this story, really thanks.**

**On another note, I have posted the first chapter of my new story which is called:**

**Like we use to**

**I hope to see you all there,**

**Blessed be**


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